Wife Throws Hubby's Junk In Garbage Disposal

Wow. What a pre-dick-ament. I've heard of a pecker wrecker, but come on. No, this isn't some strange religious circumcision ritual. Apparently some dude in Cali pissed off his old lady so badly that she drugged him, hacked off his manhood, and then ran it through the garbage disposal. My theory is that he left the toilet seat up one too many times. See guys, it really DOES matter.

Well, actually, they were in the process of getting a divorce, before she decided to divorce her husband from his male member. Seriously, I've heard about the wife getting half of everything, but this is ... wait for it.... re-dick-u-less.

In other news, this might be the only thing that causes redneck peckerwood republicans to support stem cell research. Perhaps Speaker of the House John Boner will propose legislation that permits stem cell research only for the purpose of replacing and restoring man-meat, should one's pecker become inadvertently bobbetted, or should I say beckered, in situations just like this.