HornDog Herman Says He's Being "Smeared"...with oil or whip cream, baby?

In the tiny mind of Horndog Herman Cain, it is a "smear campaign" for people to report the fact that he signed legal documents giving five figure settlements to two woman who allege that he sexually harrassed them when he headed the National Restaurant Association from 1996 to 1999.  Now, I know you may be asking, what does he want smeared on him this time, oil or whip cream?  The fact that Horny Herman tried to lie about this case is the only thing that gave the story legs.  He first said it was unfounded, but you don't usually pay out up to $99,999 if the case has absolutely no merit at all.  He then said he didn't remember the case or the fact that he had signed the documents himself, 12 years ago.  Now I know 12 years is a long time, but I think most people would remember an accusation like this, unless these kinds of charges were made against him SO FREQUENTLY that he LOST TRACK.  One has to wonder if there are more bimbo eruptions waiting in the wings.  Herman, repeat after me, "I did NOT have sexual relations with those women..." .  
Come on now, surely he knew that something like this would cum up in the campaign eventually.  Apparently he didn't pay up enough to keep his woman problems under wraps.  Or maybe he will use the same excuse that he used about the electric fence on the border, where he first said, I was just JOKING, and then later said NO I WASN'T.  Maybe he thinks we all just need to get a SENSE OF HUMOR about sexual harrassment.  Hey, did you hear the one about the corrupt businessman who sexually harrassed two co-workers and then paid them five figure settlements?  Yeah, it cost him the presidential nomination...ha ha.  That was a gut buster.

Here's a hint for you Herman.  If Republicans had a SENSE OF HUMOR they wouldn't be Republicans anymore.  Then you would get even less votes.