Horny Herman Sandusky Cain

If Horny Herman 999 Cain were Jerry Sandusky, his defense would go like this.  Firstly, he would say, don't worry about allegations of child molestation, because these were "anonymous accusers".  After all, the names of minors are often not reported, but, for Herman Cain, the fact that a name is not reported, even when he signed the settlement papers himself and knows exactly who the accusers are, is tantamount to saying that it didn't happen.  Secondly, the fact that many of the the alleged abuses by Jerry Sandusky happened years ago and had been investigated but not prosecuted, in mind of Herman Cain means that the charges were "found to be baseless".  Thus, if Jerry Sandusky were given the free ride that Herman Cain is being given by the far right-wing, corporatized media, they would be demanding that Sandusky be given his job back.

Furthermore, if Jerry Sandusky were Herman Cain, he would be bragging about how all this scandal and media attention had helped him raise more money for his charity, just as Cain is bragging that his own sexual misconduct scandal has supposedly helped the Hermanator raise more campaign contributions.  Cain has even claimed that other campaigns should hire women to claim they were sexually abused so that they can increase their own fundraising.  Gee, do you think that Sandusky was really just trying to increase revenues for his Second Mile charity?  And I wonder why no other GOP candidates have women coming out of the woodwork to accuse them of sexual harassment, and they only targeted Herman Cain, who signed sexual harassment settlements for $80,000 and dated them 9/99.  In fact, given how Republicans have rewarded Cain after hearing about the alleged sexual abuse, this really encourages Cain to go out and do it some more.  Maybe he can bang a few staffers on his Campaign, if he hasn't been doing that already, to celebrate the way that Republicans reward bad behavior from their own party.

BTW, I think it's ironic, now that Cain has PLUMMETED to THIRD PLACE in polls, that Newt Gingrich has leapt ahead of him.  Newt Gingrich is a notorious, serial adulterer, who presented his first wife with divorce papers when she was dying of cancer in the hospital, having already shacked up with another woman.  I guess Republicans think that Newt is even classier than Horny Herman Cain.