Horny Herman Cain Ready To Call It Quits

In light of Herman Cain's latest sex scandal, this time from Atlanta woman Ginger White, who alleges that she has carried on an affair with Cain for the last 13 years, Herman Cain has reported told his staff that he is "reassessing" his candidacy because there might be "too much of a cloud" over it, at this point.  You will recall that I predicted that the Cain campaign would be toppled by these sex scandals, though it may have taken a week or so longer than I originally predicted.  He has not yet resigned, but the fact that he is talking about it makes my prophetic powers greater than all the religious nuts in the last year or so who predicted that the world would end.

Horny Herman Sandusky Cain

If Horny Herman 999 Cain were Jerry Sandusky, his defense would go like this.  Firstly, he would say, don't worry about allegations of child molestation, because these were "anonymous accusers".  After all, the names of minors are often not reported, but, for Herman Cain, the fact that a name is not reported, even when he signed the settlement papers himself and knows exactly who the accusers are, is tantamount to saying that it didn't happen.  Secondly, the fact that many of the the alleged abuses by Jerry Sandusky happened years ago and had been investigated but not prosecuted, in mind of Herman Cain means that the charges were "found to be baseless".  Thus, if Jerry Sandusky were given the free ride that Herman Cain is being given by the far right-wing, corporatized media, they would be demanding that Sandusky be given his job back.

Furthermore, if Jerry Sandusky were Herman Cain, he would be bragging about how all this scandal and media attention had helped him raise more money for his charity, just as Cain is bragging that his own sexual misconduct scandal has supposedly helped the Hermanator raise more campaign contributions.  Cain has even claimed that other campaigns should hire women to claim they were sexually abused so that they can increase their own fundraising.  Gee, do you think that Sandusky was really just trying to increase revenues for his Second Mile charity?  And I wonder why no other GOP candidates have women coming out of the woodwork to accuse them of sexual harassment, and they only targeted Herman Cain, who signed sexual harassment settlements for $80,000 and dated them 9/99.  In fact, given how Republicans have rewarded Cain after hearing about the alleged sexual abuse, this really encourages Cain to go out and do it some more.  Maybe he can bang a few staffers on his Campaign, if he hasn't been doing that already, to celebrate the way that Republicans reward bad behavior from their own party.

BTW, I think it's ironic, now that Cain has PLUMMETED to THIRD PLACE in polls, that Newt Gingrich has leapt ahead of him.  Newt Gingrich is a notorious, serial adulterer, who presented his first wife with divorce papers when she was dying of cancer in the hospital, having already shacked up with another woman.  I guess Republicans think that Newt is even classier than Horny Herman Cain.

Another Cain Sex Abuse Victim, Karen Kraushaar, Goes Public

Yet another of Horny Herman's sexual harassment victims, Karen Kraushaar, has gone public.  The Cain Campaign has already tried to personally smear the first woman, Sharon Bialek, who went public with testimony that Horny Herman virtually tried to rape her in exchange for a job.  They pointed to the fact that Bialek has declared bankruptcy and has worked multiple places in the past 17 years, though this is probably not that different from the hardships that most Americans have endured, while the Herman Cains of the world live high on the hog and try to screw the rest of us, literally.  Unfortunately for Cain this drive by smear was nowhere near what was necessary to make us doubt Bialek's story.  If anything it confirms that Cain knew she was vulnerable and could be easily victimized.

However, unlike Bialek, Kraushaar is a well-respected spokesperson for the US Treasury Department.  Cain is already claimed that Kraushaar's charge was "found to be baseless", but this is belied by the fact that Herman Cain signed a settlement awarding this woman tens of thousands of dollars.  One does not settle baseless cases for tens of thousands of dollars, especially when one has armies of corporate lawyers on retainer.  One only settles such cases if one is afraid that one stands to lose even greater amounts of money, due to the allegations being true.

Betting on Day Cain Campaign Will End

The Horny Herman Cain Train has just come off the rails, gone off the bridge, and is plummeting into the canyon below.  The question is, when exactly will it hit the bottom.  I'm guessing that Cain may string people along and continue milking fundraisers for, at most another week or two, before he officially throws in the towel, like he tried to do earlier this year to promote his book.  If Cain doesn't come out today with some real dirt on Sharon Bialek, and just sticks to his standard, head-in-the-sand denialism then his support will continue to fade and when woman number 5 and 6, ... come forward, people will say, "enough is enough".  I think many people already have said that.  The only thing saving him is that he is a Republican, and, as such he has extremely low information voters, like those in the tea party, who are fanatics and are unwilling to admit that they made a mistake in backing him.  They also have internalized hypocrisy and cognitive dissonance as a way of life, and therefore, it doesn't bother them that they called for the resignation of Anthony Weiner for only sending pictures, while they continue to support Cain, even when it's revealed that he is trying to have forceable sex with women in exchange for jobs.  Sorry, but you can stick a pitchfork in Mr. 999, because he's over and done.  He is going down in flames, back to Hell where his father the Devil can plot his return in another thousand years.

4th Woman Accuses Horny Herman Cain of Attempted Rape In Exchange For Job

Horny Herman 999 Cain's sham campaign is about to be over, as is his sham marriage.  Sharon Bialek, a Republican who worked for the National Restaurant Association from 1996-1997 has come forward and alleges that Herman Cain tried to have forceable sex with her and when she protested, Mr. 999 asked her, "You want a job, right?"  This is the FOURTH woman to have come forward alleging that Horn Dog Herman Cain has engaged in grossly inappropriate sexual behavior, while leading the National Restaurant Association.  Two other women were awarded significant cash settlements when they alleged sexual harrassment by Herman Cain, and Cain signed those settlements, dating one of them 9/99.  Perhaps that is what Herman Cain's 999 plan really is.  To screw the entire American people the same way that Horn Dog Herman tried to screw around with his female subordinates.  However these women were barred by confidentiality agreements from discussing the details of the sexual harassment settlement they received.

Unfortunately for Herman Cain, or perhaps I should say, FORTUNATELY for the female victims, apparently Horn Dog Herman was completely incompetent about his sexual extortion racket, as he was incompetent in the rest of his professional life, and now all his CHICKens are coming home to roost.  Horny Herman's campaign had warned that MORE ALLEGATIONS WERE LIKELY, and indeed, there are already rumors of a fifth and/or sixth woman who is getting ready to come forward.

Bialek has retained high-profile celebrity lawyer Gloria Allred, meaning that the Cain Train is about ready to derail.  Cain's campaign staff have already taken to twitter to mock Allred, asking "What took you so long?" Unfortunately for Cain, this false bravado can probably be answered.  Allred, the same lawyer who exposed Arnold Schwarzenegger's affair with his maid, probably was making sure that she collected incriminating evidence, since it is unlikely that she would have taken the case unless her client could produce some pretty strong supporting evidence.

The Cain campaign has ludicrously tried to compare their candidate to Clarence Thomas and the Anita Hill testimony of 1991, despite the fact that all current evidence suggests that ANITA HILL TOLD THE TRUTH, and Horn Dog Clarence was confirmed anyway.  I suggest that a better comparison for Horn Dog Herman would be Horn Dog Gary Hart, whose presidential campaign was ended by his philandering.

Horny Herman paid $45k to one woman and $35k to another in sex harrassment case

It is now being reported that Horny Herman paid $45,000 to settle a sexual harrassment case with one woman in the late 1990's and paid a second woman around $35,000.  He claims that both of these are "baseless", but apparently his lawyer didn't think it was baseless, or they wouldn't have spent $80,000 on these two cases.  Only a moron would spend $80,000 on "baseless" cases.  It would not have cost $80,000 to argue these cases if they were truly baseless.  The National Restaurant Association had an army of lawyers who would have gone to court and argued for summary dismissal, and it wouldn't have cost them anything more than they were likely paying already for legal representation.  Therefore it is absolutely impossible that Horn Dog Herman is telling the truth when he claims that these cases had no merit.  The proof that these cases had merit was that they spent this amount on them, which is even more sizeable in 1998 dollars.

3rd Woman Accuses Horny Herman 999 Cain of Sexual Misconduct

Horn Dog Herman Cain is now starting to have a Tiger Woods moment, and no, it's not because he's good at golf.  A third woman has come forward and said that Horny Herman tried to put the moves on her, inviting her to his corporate apartment "love nest", presumably to tell her how she could climb his corporate ladder.

Unlike Tiger Woods, Cain seems unable to sink any of his putts, but he does seem to like swinging the club around.  I think his favorite club is a 9 9 9 iron.  Or maybe a 6 and a 9 iron, and a couple of woods.  Poor guy just can't seem to get the ball in the hole.  

BTW, I had already predicted that there would likely be more women, and I suspect that this will not be the end either.   I also suspect that the two other women who are currently being "gagged" by Herman's lawyers will find a way to get their stories out there.

Hey, has anyone else noticed that Herman is starting to grow his laurel wreath afro to hide his demonic horns?

Horny Herman Cain Signed the Sex Settlement That He Doesn't Remember

Herman Cain apparently has a pretty bad memory.  He claims he doesn't even remember the fact that he signed settlements for five figure payouts to two women who accused him of sexual harrassment.  This conveniently Reganesque lack of memory does not bode well for his prospects of running the country.

Squirming Herman first tried to wriggle out of this controversy by claiming that the accusers were anonymous.  However, that's because he knew that the SETTLEMENT HE SIGNED had a NON-DISCLOSURE clause, that required the women to remain anonymous.  Now he tells us that he can't remember signing the agreement.  Most people who had to pay five figures a piece would remember that.  But I guess it was somebody else's money, since the National Restaurant Association picked up the tab for his little dalliance, so who cares about that, right?

I suppose that next Herman 999 Cain will say that he doesn't remember signing a deal with the Devil, who gave him is 999 Plan.

Hey Horny Herman, Kid Kardashian is Single Again!

Horny Herman Cain, fresh from trying to cover up a bimbo eruption at least has a little bit of good news.  Kim Kardashian, or should I say, Kwim Kar-douche-ian has announced that she is filing for divorce.  But she like tried really hard to make things work for like 72 days and stuff.  As celebrity marriages go that's not even the shortest of marriage.  Republicans have been in love with Herman Cain for about that long, but they are about to discover that Herman loves feeding his cheesy mozzarella to women he worked with at the National Restaurant Association, and then paying them five figure settlements of hush up money.  Unfortunately, he'd probably have to pay the Kim-bo a little more than that to show her his 69-69-69 plan, but hey, as long as he's using someone else's money, I guess it doesn't matter.

Horny Herman 69-69-69 Cain: I Did Not Have Sexual Relations With Those Women

Old Herman 999 Cain might want to change his 999 plan to 69-69-69.   That is because it is being reported that two women received five-figure settlements after reporting sexually inappropriate conduct by Mr. 666 himself.   Cain insists that you shouldn't believe any of it because the sources are anonymous, but he knows very well that these settlements often have confidentiality requirements that requires that the women not discuss what happened.  That is precisely why they are paid the hush up money, and Cain is not fooling anyone by pretending to be ignorant of that fact.  That he got the National Restaurant Association to serve up some pay offs his dalliances is mighty convenient and sure beats having to pay five figures a piece out of his own pocket.  The only question is whether the five figure settlements were $66,666 or $99,999.  Does anybody think that Cain's denials are starting to sound like a Republican version of Slick Willy Clinton?  Just listen to Horny Herman say, "I didn't not have sexual relations with those women, Miss Lewinsky, or her co-worker...."  That why he had them paid off.  Gosh, Clinton should have thought of that.  Where was the National Restaurant Association when he needed them.

BTW, isn't it interesting that Horny Herman actually has devil horns in this picture?