God's grace or chance in oklahoma tornado tragedy

I here people in Oklahoma City unwittingly indicting God of murder by saying "but for the grace of God I was spared from the tornado".  It sounds pious, but if God intentionally spared these people then he also intentionally refused to spare all those school children crushed in the rubble.  I think what these people mean is "there but for fortune" it could have been them instead.  But substituting the word "fortune" with "God's grace" is not an equivalent cut-and-paste replacement.  Fortune means it's an accident, but if God was pulling the puppet strings then it happened on purpose.  It makes a huge difference if something is merely bad luck, as opposed to a psychopath intentionally plotting an act of mass murder. And if we wouldn't accept such behavior from a human psychopath, why would God be held to a lower standard? Think about it.