Eminent medical expert Michele Bachmann has just made the breakthrough discovery that the HPV vaccine Gardasil causes mental retardation, stunning the medical community with her research. Work is underway to present her with this years Nobel Prize in Medicine, just as soon as she produces the slightest shred of evidence for her otherwise completely unfounded claim. Otherwise, she might earn a Darwin Award for killing her political career by prostituting the Truth in the service of religious fanaticism. In the process she appears to have infected the Truth with HPV and AIDS.
BTW, you know what actually causes mental retardation, aside from listening to the Rush Limbaugh show? Cervical cancer does. That's right, because it causes you to DIE, and causes your IQ to decrease to ZERO! Therefore, if the HPV vaccine saves you from cervical cancer then it actually raises your IQ far above what you would be if you were DEAD.