Wednesday, September 28, 2011

We Don't Wanna Go To Heaven If We CAN Get In

The band O.A.R. (Of A Revolution) has been getting a lot of play, since their album dropped last month, especially on a song called "Heaven".  The lead singer, Marc Roberge, was supposedly inspired by the It Gets Better anti-bullying video campaign, which sought to address persecution in the LGBT community.

In the main refrain, the song states, "Everybody's got a problem with the way I live.  I don’t wanna go to heaven if I can’t get in".  We understand your sentiment Roberge, despite the awkwardness of the wording and the logic. You made it sound more like Groucho Marx's quip, "I would never want to belong to any club that would have someone like me for a member."   And of course you don't want to go somewhere if you know the door is going to be locked when you get there.  That doesn't mean you wouldn't like to get in if you could get past the locked door, though.  

However,  what I am suggesting, is that people "Should NOT want to go to heaven, EVEN if they CAN get IN".  Here's why.  We are told that there are all kinds of things that we are forbidden to do here on Earth because they chafe God's holy bunghole, or make baby Jebus cry.  So, if we make ourselves miserable for our entire lives, and never get to do what we want, but only do what God wants, then we finally get our eternal reward in "heaven", RIGHT?  We can finally do whatever sick, twisted stuff we have always wanted to do, like shoving fire crackers up the butts of puppies, or snort blow from a hooker's tits, right?  Well ....ummmm...... NO!  Hell NO, in fact.  In "heaven" you still can't do any of these things.  Now, maybe if you're a Muslim then Allah will let you bang a few chicks and drink some wine, which he frowned upon while you were on Earth, but for the rest of the time you had best get on your prayer rug and eternally bite the carpet, singing Allah's praises, or He will still totally $mite your a$$.

The same is true in any "paradise" run by an omnipotent bully.  It's only really ever TRUE paradise for the top dog.  You have to do what God says during your life in order to go to His "paradise" in the afterlife.  However, when you get there, the afterlife is just an eternity of doing what God orders you to do, and if you ever screw up, which is easy to do when you're an imperfect being and you've  got an eternity on your hands, then you could end up being tossed into Hades.  Either way, you are God's eternal puppet.  Instead of doing what you want, you will have to learn to like what God wants, which means sacrificing everything that makes you unique as an individual.  

So, in reality, if Mr. Roberge were more accurate he should be singing, "I don't want to go to heaven if I can't be me".  I don't wanna go to heaven 'cuz I won't give in.  I want freedom apart from the dictates of God and you can never get that in God's Kingdom, if it truly did exists.  To paraphrase a popular religious slogan, I have no king including Jesus, nor do I need one, apart from my own will.  Hey, maybe these O.A.R. guys really are more revolutionary than they appear, if they can get people to overthrow, in their own minds, the fool's paradise known as "heaven".  

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