Halloween Can't Be The "Devil's Birthday" because the devil wasn't BORN!

I just want to emphasize this point because fanatic Christian M0r*ns insist that Halloween is the "Devil's Birthday".  I would like to know who told them this?  Where in the Bible does it say that October 31st is the birthday of Satan.  Well, nowhere, of course. The Bible only has a handful of references to haSatan (the adversary), and none of them even come close to indicating that the "Devil" was born at all, much less a particular date.  Furthermore, standard, extra-biblical tradition holds that Satan is a rebellious, fallen Angel.  According to most Judeo-Christians, Angels are not born at all.  They are created beings, just like Adam was created, rather than being born.  Therefore it is a LIE and an incredibly STUPID LIE at that, that Halloween is the Devil's Birthday.  It's perhaps the "silliest lie every told", since it's so easy to see that it's false.

As I noted already, if the Devil has a birthday, then this means that the Devil has a mother and a father.  So who are these individuals?  Why have we never heard specific names associated with them?  Wouldn't that be one case where abortion would have been truly justified, by the way?  How about that one, Right-to-Liars?  Oh, and how could God not see that one coming?  Surely he would have wanted to stop that little process and avoid all this hassle.

If angels have birthdays then, all-of-a-sudden, this opens up a whole bunch of new cans of worms.  For example, when are all these birthdays?  Wouldn't Christians presumably want to celebrate the birthdays of good angels, such as the Archangel Michael or Gabriel?  Who are their mothers and fathers?  In fact, what are their definite ages.  If they have a specific birthday then they have an age.  And what astrological sign does that make them?  Astrology is actually endorsed in the Bible, BTW, at least in the case of the Christ child.  Hasn't somebody received a "revelation" on this in the same way that someone must have had a "revelation" about the "Devil's Birthday"?

In any event, how many candles do they put on Lucifer's cake this year, and how do they get the candles to stop from melting in Hell.  It's just so darned confusing once you go down the path of believing mythical nonsense.

Wouldn't it be easier to believe that the Devil is just a symbolic personification of evil, instead of a real entity.  Isn't that easier to believe that there is this extremely busy, invisible man running around responsible for every misdeed of billions of people every single day?  So how can a concept have a "birthday" anyway?  If god existed for all time and he had a concept of what good is then, necessarily he also had a concept of what the opposite was, also for all time.  So evil does not need a birthday, nor does it need a physical being to be responsible for all the evil acts that may occur.

War on Halloween

Most non-insane Christians have no problem dressing up in scary costumes and trick-or-treating.  Some even dress up like the devil, or a witch, which is just a way to have fun and playfully mock such things.  However, insane Christian fanatics are not happy that the majority of Christians recognized Halloween as harmless fun.  These are the same mean-spirited losers who have been literally screaming their heads off for the past couple years about the totally fake "WAR ON CHRISTMAS".  These evil-hearted Evangelicals, aka EVILgelicals, have been waging a very real "WAR ON HALLOWEEN" for quite some time now.

Don't believe me?  Look up something like  "halloween is satanic" and google says, "2,340,000 results (0.08 seconds)".  Most of the top searches are from idiots like the people at demonbuster.com or exposing satanism.org or the jeremiahproject.com, etc.  They darkly warn that even things like "bobbing for apples" were used in pagan fertility rights.  Yep, most single adults who are not losers go to halloween parties and have a few drinks and try to get lucky.  Naturally, religious fanatics disapprove of such things.  

They like to quote passages like 1 Thess 5:22, which the Queen James (yes, he was gay) Bible renders as "Abstain from all appearance of evil", because they want to twist the word appearance to mean something like a costume.  However, modern translations, like the NIV render this simply, "reject every kind of evil".  Indeed the context makes clear that they are saying nothing about how someone physically appears.  Indeed the first few verses before say, "Do not quench the Spirit.  Do not treat prophecies with contempt but test them all; hold on to what is good".  Right after this it says, "comma  reject every kind of evil".  So, no, it's not saying that you can't wear a scary costume.  

Most of these anti-halloween propaganda pages play fast and loose with Bible verses, and are incredibly poorly researched.  They declare, without the slightest evidence, that Halloween is the "Devil's Birthday".  However, presumably the Devil was created, not born.   Think about it.  If the Devil had a birthday then the Devil had a mother and a father.  By many traditional, extra-biblical accounts the Devil or haSatan (the enemy) is a fallen angel.  That would mean that angels were having sex in Heaven and conceiving children.  

So why have we never heard of this mother and father?  Yet the Bible says that angels are essentially spirit beings who sometimes take physical form, as when Hebrews 1:14 says, "Are not all angels ministering spirits".    This is yet one more example of the mindless nature of the anti-halloween, anti-fun fanaticism of EVILgelical Christians.  

Happy Halloween MotherBleeper

Evangelical Christians made an enormous production out of the phony claim that there was a "WAR ON CHRISTMAS".  They screamed MERRY CHRISTMAS (motherbleeper) in the face of every Rabbi and Imam they could find.  They were indignant and offended that Jews and Muslims did not celebrate THEIR holiday.  They were even more enraged that atheists didn't acknowledge Christmas, or perhaps practice a secular version of gift giving with no need for the religious component. To them it was a personal attack and an attempt to destroy Christmas if even one person wasn't forced to participate in their holiday.  Shop keepers who said "seasons greetings" or "happy holidays" were loudly confronted and told that they MUST say "Merry Christmas" or they would be labelled a "grinch" (by these Christian grinches aka Crinches) and boycotted.

However, now it appears that EVILgelicals have actually been waging a WAR ON HALLOWEEN, for some time now.  Many fanatic Christians say it is the Devil's holiday, and that they could not possibly partake in such pagan rituals.  Of course Yule logs and trees have always been pagan, but Christians don't seem to mind that about their holiday.

My question is why should fanatic Christians be given any more choice in celebrating Halloween than they give to others when they insist that Jews, Muslims, and all other non-Christians be COMPELLED to acknowledge the ChristMYTH holiday?   Why shouldn't we seek out EVILgelicals and scream into their faces Happy Devil's Holiday (motherbleeper).  Perhaps we should say, "I'll make a SATANIC sacrifice in YOUR honor", just as they do when they say, often say under their breath, "I'll PRAY for YOU, you filthy heathen!" Any salesperson who doesn't say "Happy Halloween" to you at the store should be loudly called out on it and denounced as anti-Halloween, just as extremist Christians did last Christmas.  We should demand a complete refund on all our purchases and proclaim to everyone, "I will never shop at this anti-Halloween establishment again!" On this coming Halloween, let's make sure to TREAT Christians to a healthy dosage of TRICKING, shoving candy down their unwilling throats and demanding that celebrate a very HAPPY HALLOWEEN.

*Note for the mentally impaired.  I am not entirely serious about this.  I am simply illustrating how ridiculously extremist religious people behave. Therefore, if a person did one or two of these things in an ironic fashion, when one knows that a Christian fanatic is present, then it would potentially preempt some of the in-your-face ugliness of fanatic Christianity that is bound to be seen quite sincerely and sanctimoniously practiced by holier-than-thou Christians for the next couple months leading up to ChristMYTH.