Sunday, September 1, 2013

Hannah Montana aka Twerking Girl always had a stripper name anyway

Obviously a lot of people are slow on the uptake when it comes to Justin Beaver, I mean Hannah Montana, I mean Miley Gyrus, the hardest twerking girl in show business.  Even when Miley was hiding behind her corporate-crafted "Hannah Montana" brand, some of us weren't fooled by her faux innocence.  We knew that Montana and Dakota were the two most common names for strippers. If Miley were not the daughter of Billy Ray Cyrus then she probably would be working in a strip club and her name would be Hannah "the Banana" Montana.  And she would probably have to do more than wear flesh-colored short-shorts to make a living.

Now I will be the first to admit that I found vile Miley's performance a bit disturbing, mainly because of her bizarre reptilian tongue and the silly little devil horn hairdo.  But it was a PERFORMANCE for an equally disturbing, ridiculously bad song by Robin Gaye, I mean Marvin Thicke, I mean Robin Thicke ripping off Marvin Gaye. Not that Marvin Gaye's musical compositions were any great masterpiece of subtlety either. Both men seem to have tapped into the same well-spring nympho-maniacal mediocrity.  

In any event Miley has been burnishing her skank credentials for some time, posing topless here, leaking pictures there, and generally spreading herself around more a tub of "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter".  We can only imagine the "hot mess" that will assuredly follow, within the next year or two.  She even has the same manager as Brittany Spears.  I think I've seen this reality TV show before and I'm changing the channel.  

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