85th Wife of Warren Jeffs Escapes FLDS Cult Compound. Romney has no comment.

An unnamed 25-year-old woman, who is reportedly one of 85 wives of convicted child molester Warren Jeffs, has escaped from an isolated Arizona compound run by the Fundamentalist LDS (uberMormon) church and is now in Phoenix.   Jeffs, you may recall, was in a coma from a three-day hunger strike in prison, where he is serving a life sentence.  However, unfortunately, Jeffs has reportedly recovered from his hunger strike after several weeks in the hospital and therefore, most regrettably, is still be housed at taxpayer expense.

Apparently, even a cult which brainwashes women since birth and blackmails them with family pressure, cannot convince all 85 of these women to remain part of Jeffs harem.  The notion that 85 separate women would want to each have a 1/85th share of a husband, no matter how good he might be is laughable.  If one adds the extremely meager physical and mental qualities that Jeffs possesses into the mix then it is clear that these women are virtual slaves.  However, many of them are imprisoned mentally perhaps even more than they are imprisoned physically and through social control.   Mental prisons are sometimes the most difficult from which to escape, though apparently this one woman has managed to do so and is undergoing counseling.

GOP front-runner Mitt Romney, also a Mormon, had no comment on whether he would be choosing Jeffs as a potential running mate.  Naturally, Romney, like many Mormons today, claim to belong to a sanitized version of the Mormon church which does not OFFICIALLY allow multiple marriages (wink, wink, nudge, nudge).  If Mitt were to become president, perhaps this woman could become the 85th First Lady.  However, one wonders how Mitt would run the country and still have time for his 85 wives.  One wonders how any many could have time to do anything with 85 women to please.  One is often hard enough.

Polygamist Child Rapist Warren Jeffs in COMA....There is a GOD!!!

Warren Jeffs the batsh*t crazy leader of Fundamentalist Mormons, who advocates "marriage" to women as young as NINE, has apparently been fasting the last three days, while in prison and has become so weak that doctors put him into a medically induced coma.  I know some of you all might have been hoping that the coma was due to Warren being bludgeoned by his 400-pound cellmate Bubba, after Jeffs turned down his request for "marriage".  However, it's really just that Jeffs is such a bogus holy man that he can't go a few days without food.  It's like when Jerry Falwell used to talk about "praying and fasting", which often lead one to wonder, what *five minute period of time* did Jerry Falwell ever fast, given his enormous girth? See, apparently Jeffs doesn't understand that religious fasting is all about style over substance.  You don't really refuse all food and certainly not all water. Most religious fasts only go from sun up to sun down, and do allow for water and even vitamins or medications these days.
However, apparently Jeffs thinks that the angel Moroni is going to fly down and serve him some food, perhaps on a Golden Tablet, or that he can command stones to become bread.  OK, granted, it is not necessary for God to exist in an absolute sense for justice to be served here if Jeffs manages to kill himself due to his own stupidity and craven superstition.  It could just be one of those lucky cosmic accidents.

Polygamy Freak Warren Jeffs Defends Cult of Child Molesters

One man freakshow Warren Jeffs, self-proclaimed "prophet" of the separatist Fundamentalist LDS (FLDS aka "old school" Mormon) Church, has fired his lawyers and decided to defend himself and his proclivity for banging 12-year-old girls in "spiritual marriages".  Naturally, most legal experts don't think this is a good idea, considering that he can be facing up to life in prison.

However, it doesn't end there.  He apparently delivered a 55-minute sermon, not only defending plural marriage, but threatening that God would cause "sickness and death" upon those prosecuting him unless they dropped their charges and released him.  In other news, his dumb a*s is still in prison, his trial is still going on, and nobody is particularly afraid of his monster under the bed and things that go bump in the night style threats.  Of course when other fundamentalists say that god will send an earthquake, hurricane, etc to punish gay people, some still take that kind of nonsense seriously, so maybe Jeffs just isn't being grandiose and flamboyant enough.  

As far as polygamy goes, the Bible quite undeniably supported marriage to more than one woman at a time in the Old Testament.  Personally, I can't see what the attraction of having 70 wives to tell me I'm wrong would be when I already have one who is perfectly good at this.  Perhaps God thought the same thing. After all, poor Solomon reputedly had 1000 wives.  

So eternal God changed his eternal mind about multiple wives as christian dogma developed.  It is perhaps one of the few good idea that Christians had, to only have one wife, although they were far from originating the concept.  It's a lot less work, that's for sure.  I mean come on, it's not a machine, ladies.  There's only so much sauce in the squeeze bottle.  

Now this doesn't mean that people won't mess around.  They just have the sense to not get married to everyone they hop in the sack with.  Old Joseph Smith apparently lacked this sense.  He wanted to bed multiple women, but the mores of the time said that he couldn't do this without marrying them.  So he re-invented polygamy for Christians, and there have been problems ever since.  

People like Jeffs highlight just a few of the problems.  When one guy hogs all the broads then there are not enough for everyone else.  Furthermore, there is no way that you can have as dedicated a relationship, spreading your time between 70 women, as you could if you spent that time with just 1 woman.  And something else that old Jeffie hasn't thought about is that these women have needs of their own.  Even if you've got them locked down and believing that you have magic powers, they are gonna have the urge to get freaky with some other guy (or girl) when you're not around.  

Nope, sorry, 70 wives doesn't work.  It doesn't pass the sanity test.  Even players know that trying to juggle 70 different girlfriends isn't fun anymore.  Even if they are supposedly all "sister wives", there is going to be jealousy.  No wonder Jeffs looks so worn out.  It's a little known fact that he's actually only 23 and he just looks like he's in his 50's ;-)