Saturday, June 30, 2012

Cher Tweets About Magic Underwear. Mormons Outraged!

Mormons were up in arms today because Cher made reference to the ridiculous underwear that Mormons undergird themselves with, perhaps to make sure that they are as white as possible.  Well, excuse me, but if there is one thing that Cher knows, it's underwear, since that is what she wears as outerwear most of the time.  If Cher thinks your underwear isn't sexy, she's probably right.

Mormons were quick to play the victim card referring to her "magic underwear" as a "slur".  Yes, they are comparing that to racial slurs.  This from the church that only recently allowed black people to serve as priests.  This is from a religion that has racism written directly into their holy book, such as the claim that American Indians had their skin turned permanently red by God as a form of punishment.  Curiously, they didn't care to much about the actual bona fide racial slur she made where she commented that Mr. Rubbermask would be the "whitest" person in the White house.  Then again, by convention, since Cher is white, maybe it's OK for her to make fun of her own race.

However, by the just now made-up convention that Mormons twitters have laid out, if you refer to their idiotic underclothes as anything other than "celestial undergarments" then this is on par with treating them the same way that they treated black and red-skinned people until about five minutes ago.  Sounds like Mormon's have some pretty massive chips on their shoulders.  Not that they would hesitate for one second to mock anyone else's religion.

Here's the deal.  If you don't want people to make fun of your long-johns then you can (1) not wear them because that nonsense was only recently made up or (2) explain why the apparently ridiculous-looking garments are not so ridiculous.  Of course, they don't want to do either.  They want option (3), loved by all religious fanatics, which is "Demand that everyone else automatically respect any stupid thing we say, do, or wear if we declare it is part of our religion".  Of course, the reality is that fellow religious fanatics don't respect each others claims anyway.  This option is just a cry-baby tactic that is intended to work in one direction when the "offended" party wants to have something to flap his or her gums about.  Sorry, respect must always be earned, and you guys haven't even come close to earning respect for your garb.  FWIW, many catholics still make fun of the Pope's funny hat and the dresses that they make priests wear and they've been doing that a helluva lot longer than you guys.


  1. Most religions, especially christian ones twist the bible out of proportion to use at their own advantage. Mormons, Baptists and the like are good examples.

  2. Yes, but Mormons have the advantage of being able to write new Bibles whenever it suits them and also proclaiming themselves prophets. Granted, Baptists believe than anyone can have personal revelations, which is why they're founding new splinter churches every five seconds. Even mormons aren't doing that, probably because they're too busy with all of their wives. It's kinda funny that mormons say their magic underwear helps them resist "temptation". They were going to marry wife number 73, they had the magic underwear wedgie that day, so they said, I guess 72 is enough.