Monday, May 23, 2011
Bieber is So Going to Hell for Gomez Kiss
Justin Bieber (or Just a Beaver as I've heard him called) is a self-proclaimed extreme Christian who tried to cash in his Christian beliefs with his Never Say Never video. However, apparently Justin has forgotten the words of Jesus in Matthew 5:27-28, after snogging Selena Gomez on stage. See Jesus believed that if you even looked lust a woman lustfully that you had committed adultery with her in your heart and were bound for hell. He also recommended that if your right hand caused you to do something wrong (though it's not clear that it's your hand's fault, now is it Beav?) that you should cut it off. In this case if your lips or even your lower manly anatomy causes you to do something wrong, then Justin may want to follow the advice of his hero Jebus and lop that little sucker off. It's not like it would change the pitch of his singing voice much, and at least he wouldn't have to tramp around with little tempresses, who are only going to get him an a poolside view at the Lake of Fire. Come on Justin, have the courage of your convictions. I know you probably thought that the world was going to end this weekend and now you're trying to lose your cherry, in case your hero Harry Camping only miscalculated the end of the world by a few days. But Jebus will be very disappointed in you.