Sunday, December 25, 2011
Baby Jebus Hates Tebow This Xmas
Despite saying a prayer every time he wipes his ass and every 5 seconds on the football field, Tim Tebow and the Broncos got STOMPED by the Bills on Xmas Eve. These were the same Bills who had a seven game LOSING streak before their shocking victory over Denver. What happened to make God hate Tebow so much that he would allow the NFLs most santimonious, in-your-face Christian extremist lose 40-14 on the day before xmas? Did he not mutter the proper incantations, facing his prayer mat in the proper direction? Did god want him to light incense slay a heifer before him? Does God want him to pray only in Latin or Hebrew or Koine Greek? Perhaps it has something to do with a little thing called, Mathew Chapter 6: "Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven....And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you." If the God that Tebow claims to believe in really exists, then his vainglorious, public display of religiosity may very well have something to do with last nights loss.