Tuesday, December 25, 2012
NRA wants Santa and Elves Armed
In response to recent gun violence, which the NRA insists has nothing to do with guns or their policies of making them more easily accessible, Wayne "Call me Crazy" LaPierre has now decided that the Christmas holiday season will never be safe until Santa and his elves starts carrying guns. "The only thing that can stop a Grinch with a gun is Santa with a gun!" LaPierre declared. As to why Santa has never needed a gun in the past, the NRA blamed violent video games, rap music, and especially President Obama, though he was at a loss to say exactly how gun violence was Obama's fault. "Whenever anything bad happens," he assured reporters, "it's always Obama's fault."