Horny Herman Gone Wild. More "Awkward", "Inappropriate" Conduct

Horny Herman just can't control himself these days.  Here's Horn Dawg Herman groping a feel from Michele Bachmann.  Doesn't he look like some kind of trench coat pervo?  Hey Herman, you better be careful.  I hear she doesn't believe in birth control.  

But that's just GETTING WARMED UP.  There's more.... Now conservative Iowa radio talk show host Steve Deace is reporting that Horny Herman has, "said things to both of my female staffers that at best are professionally awkward if not inappropriate over the last several months."  I wonder how much he is going to have to pay those women to gag them and tie them up, so to speak, with "non-disclosure" agreements.  Note to Herman:  Non-disclosure is not about whether she will take her clothes off.  Glad we could clear that up for you.

One of Cain's Women Paid $35,000 or 1 year's pay to walk away

So let me get this straight. Horny Herman says there was no sexual misconduct and the charges against him are "without merit", yet, one of his victims was paid $35,000, equivalent to her annual salary in 1998, to walk away and keep quiet about the incident.  How many cases that are completely "without merit" get settled for $35,000 in 1998 dollars?  Most companies with an army of lawyers on retainer would not pay a dime on a claim like this unless they thought there was a pretty good chance that they could lose more than $35,000 in court.  That means that there had to be some fairly good evidence, or no lawyer would advise his client to just waste money like this.  The rule of thumb is that, if a case can be settled for between $5000-$10,000 that it is cheaper to settle than to go to court.  In 1998 that figure would have been closer to the $5000 range.  If they paid much larger than this amount then clearly they were clearly worried about something.  And this is just what they paid to ONE woman who "worked under" Cain, so to speak.  (wink, wink, nudge, nudge).   Cain's campaign manager admitted that more women are probably going to start coming out of the woodwork to talk about the clumsy, ham-fisted moves that Horn dog Herman tried to put on them.

Horn Dog Herman's Campaign Manager Says More Sex Stories Likely

Horny Herman Cain's own campaign manager was quoted as saying that, "we could see other baseless allegations made against him as this appalling smear campaign continues".  That is code for saying that Horn dog Herman knows that there are plenty of other women out there who he messed around with, or tried to mess around with, and he knows damn good and well that there is about to be a full-scale "bimbo eruption" as Mount St. Herman melts down in the next few days.  Actually, Herman is literally the furthest thing from a saint, being the Antichrist and all, but it sounds like hell harlots have been let loose, and we all know that Hell hath no fury like a woman unsatisfied by Herman's pudgy and unimpressive manhood.  Strap yourselves in folks, 'cause you're in for a bumpy ride in the next few days on this latest episode of Herman's Girls' Gone Wild.

3rd Woman Accuses Horny Herman 999 Cain of Sexual Misconduct

Horn Dog Herman Cain is now starting to have a Tiger Woods moment, and no, it's not because he's good at golf.  A third woman has come forward and said that Horny Herman tried to put the moves on her, inviting her to his corporate apartment "love nest", presumably to tell her how she could climb his corporate ladder.

Unlike Tiger Woods, Cain seems unable to sink any of his putts, but he does seem to like swinging the club around.  I think his favorite club is a 9 9 9 iron.  Or maybe a 6 and a 9 iron, and a couple of woods.  Poor guy just can't seem to get the ball in the hole.  

BTW, I had already predicted that there would likely be more women, and I suspect that this will not be the end either.   I also suspect that the two other women who are currently being "gagged" by Herman's lawyers will find a way to get their stories out there.

Hey, has anyone else noticed that Herman is starting to grow his laurel wreath afro to hide his demonic horns?

Sex harrassment victim and lawyer says Horny Herman 999 Cain Is Lying

Unsurprisingly, one of the sex harrassment victims of Horn Dog Herman Cain and her lawyer say that Squirmin' Herman is lying about his inappropriate conduct, and is hiding behind a "gag order".  Gee, I'm sure Cain wanted to gag that woman with more than just a legal document.  Sounds kinky.  Now he's hiding like a little b!tch behind the the non-disclosure clause of the settlement, but what do you want to bet that this information will come out, and quickly.  You can run Hound Dog Herman, but you can't hide.

HornDog Herman Says He's Being "Smeared"...with oil or whip cream, baby?

In the tiny mind of Horndog Herman Cain, it is a "smear campaign" for people to report the fact that he signed legal documents giving five figure settlements to two woman who allege that he sexually harrassed them when he headed the National Restaurant Association from 1996 to 1999.  Now, I know you may be asking, what does he want smeared on him this time, oil or whip cream?  The fact that Horny Herman tried to lie about this case is the only thing that gave the story legs.  He first said it was unfounded, but you don't usually pay out up to $99,999 if the case has absolutely no merit at all.  He then said he didn't remember the case or the fact that he had signed the documents himself, 12 years ago.  Now I know 12 years is a long time, but I think most people would remember an accusation like this, unless these kinds of charges were made against him SO FREQUENTLY that he LOST TRACK.  One has to wonder if there are more bimbo eruptions waiting in the wings.  Herman, repeat after me, "I did NOT have sexual relations with those women..." .  
Come on now, surely he knew that something like this would cum up in the campaign eventually.  Apparently he didn't pay up enough to keep his woman problems under wraps.  Or maybe he will use the same excuse that he used about the electric fence on the border, where he first said, I was just JOKING, and then later said NO I WASN'T.  Maybe he thinks we all just need to get a SENSE OF HUMOR about sexual harrassment.  Hey, did you hear the one about the corrupt businessman who sexually harrassed two co-workers and then paid them five figure settlements?  Yeah, it cost him the presidential nomination...ha ha.  That was a gut buster.

Here's a hint for you Herman.  If Republicans had a SENSE OF HUMOR they wouldn't be Republicans anymore.  Then you would get even less votes.

Horny Herman Cain Signed the Sex Settlement That He Doesn't Remember

Herman Cain apparently has a pretty bad memory.  He claims he doesn't even remember the fact that he signed settlements for five figure payouts to two women who accused him of sexual harrassment.  This conveniently Reganesque lack of memory does not bode well for his prospects of running the country.

Squirming Herman first tried to wriggle out of this controversy by claiming that the accusers were anonymous.  However, that's because he knew that the SETTLEMENT HE SIGNED had a NON-DISCLOSURE clause, that required the women to remain anonymous.  Now he tells us that he can't remember signing the agreement.  Most people who had to pay five figures a piece would remember that.  But I guess it was somebody else's money, since the National Restaurant Association picked up the tab for his little dalliance, so who cares about that, right?

I suppose that next Herman 999 Cain will say that he doesn't remember signing a deal with the Devil, who gave him is 999 Plan.

Hey Horny Herman, Kid Kardashian is Single Again!

Horny Herman Cain, fresh from trying to cover up a bimbo eruption at least has a little bit of good news.  Kim Kardashian, or should I say, Kwim Kar-douche-ian has announced that she is filing for divorce.  But she like tried really hard to make things work for like 72 days and stuff.  As celebrity marriages go that's not even the shortest of marriage.  Republicans have been in love with Herman Cain for about that long, but they are about to discover that Herman loves feeding his cheesy mozzarella to women he worked with at the National Restaurant Association, and then paying them five figure settlements of hush up money.  Unfortunately, he'd probably have to pay the Kim-bo a little more than that to show her his 69-69-69 plan, but hey, as long as he's using someone else's money, I guess it doesn't matter.

Horny Herman Played Hide the Pepperoni. Can You Say Anthony Weiner?

Horny Herman is squirmin like a Weiner after first denying that knew about a settlement and then admitting that at least one woman who alleges she was sexually harrassed by him was paid a large sum of money.  In the past 24 hours he has tried to discredit these reports, complaining that they are "anonymous", but the settlement included a "non-disclosure agreement", so Horny Herman knew full well that the accusers cannot come forward, according to the terms of the settlement.  It looks like Horny Herman was pimping his pepperoni around the National Restaurant Association, and he eventually got his salami stuck in a tight little spot that he had to pay a five figure sum to get out of.  Maybe he should have just gone to a hooker.  It would have cost less.
He seems pretty desperate to make this go away.  It smacks of the desperation we last saw from the former golden boy on the Left, Anthony Weiner.

Horny Herman 69-69-69 Cain: I Did Not Have Sexual Relations With Those Women

Old Herman 999 Cain might want to change his 999 plan to 69-69-69.   That is because it is being reported that two women received five-figure settlements after reporting sexually inappropriate conduct by Mr. 666 himself.   Cain insists that you shouldn't believe any of it because the sources are anonymous, but he knows very well that these settlements often have confidentiality requirements that requires that the women not discuss what happened.  That is precisely why they are paid the hush up money, and Cain is not fooling anyone by pretending to be ignorant of that fact.  That he got the National Restaurant Association to serve up some pay offs his dalliances is mighty convenient and sure beats having to pay five figures a piece out of his own pocket.  The only question is whether the five figure settlements were $66,666 or $99,999.  Does anybody think that Cain's denials are starting to sound like a Republican version of Slick Willy Clinton?  Just listen to Horny Herman say, "I didn't not have sexual relations with those women, Miss Lewinsky, or her co-worker...."  That why he had them paid off.  Gosh, Clinton should have thought of that.  Where was the National Restaurant Association when he needed them.

BTW, isn't it interesting that Horny Herman actually has devil horns in this picture?  

Herman 999 Cain has Devil Horns. See The Photographic Evidence.

Here is a picture of Cain in Iowa.

WTF is that THING on the side of his head toward the back?  Also, it looks like there is something coming curved coming out of it.  Now maybe he just effed up in shaving, or perhaps it is simply the scar left by his most recent lobotomy.  However, since Halloween is almost upon us, I dare say that it also looks like it is in exactly the right spot for it to be a DEVIL HORN.  Sheesh, some guys have all the luck.  Cain doesn't even have to buy a mask or costume for Halloween, because he's scary looking enough all by himself.  Perhaps they forgot to send this photo through the airbrushing and photoshopping process and the camera was a little bit too Candid about this this Candidate.  It would appear that this is MORE EVIDENCE that Herman Cain is the Antichrist.  At least it's more evidence than most people have had so far when they have made similar claims about virtually every major leader for the past few centuries.  Not that I think that Herman Cain is going to get that far, but he certainly is frightening enough to make people want to throw candy at him to get him to go away.

Halloween Can't Be The "Devil's Birthday" because the devil wasn't BORN!

I just want to emphasize this point because fanatic Christian M0r*ns insist that Halloween is the "Devil's Birthday".  I would like to know who told them this?  Where in the Bible does it say that October 31st is the birthday of Satan.  Well, nowhere, of course. The Bible only has a handful of references to haSatan (the adversary), and none of them even come close to indicating that the "Devil" was born at all, much less a particular date.  Furthermore, standard, extra-biblical tradition holds that Satan is a rebellious, fallen Angel.  According to most Judeo-Christians, Angels are not born at all.  They are created beings, just like Adam was created, rather than being born.  Therefore it is a LIE and an incredibly STUPID LIE at that, that Halloween is the Devil's Birthday.  It's perhaps the "silliest lie every told", since it's so easy to see that it's false.

As I noted already, if the Devil has a birthday, then this means that the Devil has a mother and a father.  So who are these individuals?  Why have we never heard specific names associated with them?  Wouldn't that be one case where abortion would have been truly justified, by the way?  How about that one, Right-to-Liars?  Oh, and how could God not see that one coming?  Surely he would have wanted to stop that little process and avoid all this hassle.

If angels have birthdays then, all-of-a-sudden, this opens up a whole bunch of new cans of worms.  For example, when are all these birthdays?  Wouldn't Christians presumably want to celebrate the birthdays of good angels, such as the Archangel Michael or Gabriel?  Who are their mothers and fathers?  In fact, what are their definite ages.  If they have a specific birthday then they have an age.  And what astrological sign does that make them?  Astrology is actually endorsed in the Bible, BTW, at least in the case of the Christ child.  Hasn't somebody received a "revelation" on this in the same way that someone must have had a "revelation" about the "Devil's Birthday"?

In any event, how many candles do they put on Lucifer's cake this year, and how do they get the candles to stop from melting in Hell.  It's just so darned confusing once you go down the path of believing mythical nonsense.

Wouldn't it be easier to believe that the Devil is just a symbolic personification of evil, instead of a real entity.  Isn't that easier to believe that there is this extremely busy, invisible man running around responsible for every misdeed of billions of people every single day?  So how can a concept have a "birthday" anyway?  If god existed for all time and he had a concept of what good is then, necessarily he also had a concept of what the opposite was, also for all time.  So evil does not need a birthday, nor does it need a physical being to be responsible for all the evil acts that may occur.

War on Halloween

Most non-insane Christians have no problem dressing up in scary costumes and trick-or-treating.  Some even dress up like the devil, or a witch, which is just a way to have fun and playfully mock such things.  However, insane Christian fanatics are not happy that the majority of Christians recognized Halloween as harmless fun.  These are the same mean-spirited losers who have been literally screaming their heads off for the past couple years about the totally fake "WAR ON CHRISTMAS".  These evil-hearted Evangelicals, aka EVILgelicals, have been waging a very real "WAR ON HALLOWEEN" for quite some time now.

Don't believe me?  Look up something like  "halloween is satanic" and google says, "2,340,000 results (0.08 seconds)".  Most of the top searches are from idiots like the people at demonbuster.com or exposing satanism.org or the jeremiahproject.com, etc.  They darkly warn that even things like "bobbing for apples" were used in pagan fertility rights.  Yep, most single adults who are not losers go to halloween parties and have a few drinks and try to get lucky.  Naturally, religious fanatics disapprove of such things.  

They like to quote passages like 1 Thess 5:22, which the Queen James (yes, he was gay) Bible renders as "Abstain from all appearance of evil", because they want to twist the word appearance to mean something like a costume.  However, modern translations, like the NIV render this simply, "reject every kind of evil".  Indeed the context makes clear that they are saying nothing about how someone physically appears.  Indeed the first few verses before say, "Do not quench the Spirit.  Do not treat prophecies with contempt but test them all; hold on to what is good".  Right after this it says, "comma  reject every kind of evil".  So, no, it's not saying that you can't wear a scary costume.  

Most of these anti-halloween propaganda pages play fast and loose with Bible verses, and are incredibly poorly researched.  They declare, without the slightest evidence, that Halloween is the "Devil's Birthday".  However, presumably the Devil was created, not born.   Think about it.  If the Devil had a birthday then the Devil had a mother and a father.  By many traditional, extra-biblical accounts the Devil or haSatan (the enemy) is a fallen angel.  That would mean that angels were having sex in Heaven and conceiving children.  

So why have we never heard of this mother and father?  Yet the Bible says that angels are essentially spirit beings who sometimes take physical form, as when Hebrews 1:14 says, "Are not all angels ministering spirits".    This is yet one more example of the mindless nature of the anti-halloween, anti-fun fanaticism of EVILgelical Christians.  

Happy Halloween MotherBleeper

Evangelical Christians made an enormous production out of the phony claim that there was a "WAR ON CHRISTMAS".  They screamed MERRY CHRISTMAS (motherbleeper) in the face of every Rabbi and Imam they could find.  They were indignant and offended that Jews and Muslims did not celebrate THEIR holiday.  They were even more enraged that atheists didn't acknowledge Christmas, or perhaps practice a secular version of gift giving with no need for the religious component. To them it was a personal attack and an attempt to destroy Christmas if even one person wasn't forced to participate in their holiday.  Shop keepers who said "seasons greetings" or "happy holidays" were loudly confronted and told that they MUST say "Merry Christmas" or they would be labelled a "grinch" (by these Christian grinches aka Crinches) and boycotted.

However, now it appears that EVILgelicals have actually been waging a WAR ON HALLOWEEN, for some time now.  Many fanatic Christians say it is the Devil's holiday, and that they could not possibly partake in such pagan rituals.  Of course Yule logs and trees have always been pagan, but Christians don't seem to mind that about their holiday.

My question is why should fanatic Christians be given any more choice in celebrating Halloween than they give to others when they insist that Jews, Muslims, and all other non-Christians be COMPELLED to acknowledge the ChristMYTH holiday?   Why shouldn't we seek out EVILgelicals and scream into their faces Happy Devil's Holiday (motherbleeper).  Perhaps we should say, "I'll make a SATANIC sacrifice in YOUR honor", just as they do when they say, often say under their breath, "I'll PRAY for YOU, you filthy heathen!" Any salesperson who doesn't say "Happy Halloween" to you at the store should be loudly called out on it and denounced as anti-Halloween, just as extremist Christians did last Christmas.  We should demand a complete refund on all our purchases and proclaim to everyone, "I will never shop at this anti-Halloween establishment again!" On this coming Halloween, let's make sure to TREAT Christians to a healthy dosage of TRICKING, shoving candy down their unwilling throats and demanding that celebrate a very HAPPY HALLOWEEN.

*Note for the mentally impaired.  I am not entirely serious about this.  I am simply illustrating how ridiculously extremist religious people behave. Therefore, if a person did one or two of these things in an ironic fashion, when one knows that a Christian fanatic is present, then it would potentially preempt some of the in-your-face ugliness of fanatic Christianity that is bound to be seen quite sincerely and sanctimoniously practiced by holier-than-thou Christians for the next couple months leading up to ChristMYTH.

53%ers are 100% Full of Bull$h*t

When a criminal commits a crime we don't expect random spectators to say, "Suck it up, you whiners" or "You're just jealous of the criminal because he got away with it" or even "If you weren't so lazy then you could be a criminal too" and "you probably just want some of his loot".  We would be even more surprised if someone said to a crime victim, "It was YOUR fault that the crime happened to you and if you failed to stop it then you deserve whatever you get."  Yet this is exactly the sort of "logic" employed by right-wing apologists for Wall Street.  They insist that anyone criticizing Wall Street must be a lazy, unemployed, "whiner" who is "jealous" and "looking for a handout".

Right-wing shills have now formed an organization called 53%, in response to the Occupy Wall Street who say they are part of the 99% of people who are not ultra-rich.  The 53% allegedly refers to the amount of people who pay taxes in the US, since poor people end up getting a refund.  However, this is based on the unevidenced assumption that nobody in the Occupy Wall Street movement pays any taxes.  Where is their evidence for this claim?  They have none.  It is demonstrably false.  They also assume that OWS protesters are all unemployed and receiving an unemployment check.  This too is false.  Many OWS protesters work part-time or low wage jobs to survive, but are still complaining about the criminal behavior of big banks and Wall Street investment firms who crashed our economy and created this recession.  

Another typical canard of the 53% astroturf movement is to say that anyone complaining about the behavior of Wall Street lacks, "personal responsibility".  They thump their chests about how they are "self-made" people, and that they are in 100% complete control of every facet of their lives.  However, the reality is that this is usually a complete bluff.  If most of these individuals were to lose his or her job then it would not be so easy for these people to find a job again, in the present economic circumstances.  They believe that it would be easy, but that is based on how the job market was ten years ago, the last time they had to look.  We all tend to over-estimate our abilities, but unless these people have actually gotten a job in the last six months to a year then they don't know what the hell they are talking about.  Personal responsibility is an important component in life, but as we noted in the above example, an extremist over-emphasis on "personal responsibility" ends up with ridiculous results like saying that the rape victim was "asking for it" by wearing makeup and looking attractive.

The bottom line is that so-called 53%ers are full of misinformation, among other things.  Many 99%ers are also part of the 53% who pay taxes.  Many 99%ers are not collecting unemployment.  Therefore these conservative blowhards have absolutely no right to attempt to censor the speech of the 99%ers.  In fact they would not have this right even if all the 99%ers were unemployed and collecting government checks, which is not the case anyway.  So don't buy their latest attempt to whitewash the actions of Wall Street and the ultra-wealthy.  Many of the 53%ers are nowhere near rich themselves, anyway, and are therefore suffering from a form of cognitive dissonance commonly called "false consciousness", where people are conditioned, through propaganda, to not advocate for the very things that it would be in their interests to demand.  They say that they don't want to see some long-haired hippie type getting  "government handout", but they have no problem with rich people paying lobbyists to write special laws that give tax breaks and loophole deductions to wealthy corporations or people.  They say they are "self-made" but they fail to realize that, without roads, bridges, public schools, state universities, libraries, post-offices, and fire departments that any of them would not have the resources to operate businesses, educate their children, or go to college themselves.  And if they think taxes are too high, that's far more likely because the rich are gaming the system than because some poor person is getting a minimal payout from something like unemployment.  That they are blind to the excesses of Wall Street shows how skewed their view of reality truly is.

Herman Cain ContraDictionary To Reach 999 Entries by Xmas

For a guy with a degree in math, Herman Cain has a remarkably poor grasp of elementary logic and the concept of contradiction.  This is perhaps more evidence that Herman Cain is now possessed by the Devil and is therefore the Antichrist, since he displays no aptitude for his former ability to use mathematical reasoning.  For example, Cain has claimed that, "Our Constitution guarantees the separation of church and state".   Yet Cain sees no problem with publicly funding "prayer in schools", or giving them the ability to "display the Ten Commandments", and he wants to make sure that "under God" remains in the Pledge of Allegiance.  He even has no problem with legislators being "sworn in" using the Holy Bible.

However, this apparent generosity does not extent to the Koran.  He had a fit when Keith Ellison was sworn in as a member of Congress using the Koran.  Furthermore, he thinks the people of Murfreesburo, Tennessee should be able to vote to ban construction of a Mosque.  So much for wanting to get government off our backs, like he claims in his 999 plan.  In fact, he told Chris Wallace, "That’s not discriminating based upon religion", though presumably, a community of Muslims voting to ban the construction of a Baptist church would be "crucifying Jesus all over again".

By the way, did you hear that Cain thinks that Liberals killed Jesus.  Yep.  He wrote in redstate.com that a, " liberal court found [Jesus] guilty of false offences [sic] and sentenced Him to death", even though liberals don't believe in capital punishment, and he acknowledges that Jesus "was not read any Miranda Rights".  Where was the ACLU when Jesus needed them?  Probably defending Barabbas or something.  Oh, and it's also not discriminating on the basis of religion that Cain says that he would refuse to have any Muslims in his cabinet in the nightmare scenario of him actually becoming president.

He was for building an electric fence to keep out Mexican before he declared it to be a joke, and then said actually he was NOT joking.  He did say that "America needs to get a sense of humor", though, especially so they can learn to laugh about things that he says he was totally NOT joking about.

On the topic of abortion he says, "As to my political policy view on abortion, I am 100% pro-life.  End of story," and yet when asked if he would support a legal ban on women having abortions he says, "That's her choice. That is not government's choice."  He then clarifies his statement by saying, "No, abortion should not be legal.".  Clear as mud, isn't it?

It just goes on and on.  Cain says, "If you don't have a job and you're not rich, blame yourself."  Unless, of course you feel like blaming "the failed policies of the Obama administration" for trying to fix the economic collapse that Wall Street is totally NOT at fault for causing, and that you should be blaming yourself for.

You got all that.  Good, because the Hermanator (yes, he actually calls himself that) is just getting started.  If he were our president he would rack up more misstatements of fact and errors in logic in the first 100 days of office than George W. Bush achieved in 8 years.  Perhaps the 999 in his plan is referring to his goal of reaching 999 contradictions by Christmas of this year.  It think that's one plan that he's actually capable of implementing.

Herman 999 Cain Exposes Big Lie of "Small Government" GOP on Abortion

Herman Cain may finally start to be seen as the Antichrist that he is by Republicans, because he exposed the schizophrenic Big Lie that Republicans stand for small government when it comes to the topic of abortion. Now, you may be saying, of course Republicans are for small government.  That's virtually every other word out of their mouth these days.  Aside from abortion, it's almost all they have left of the empty shell that used to be so-called conservative ideology.  Their small minds love to hate on big government precisely because it is too big for them to wrap their tiny minds around.  .

Ah but Herman Cain managed to clusterf**k both issues at the same time when he infamously commented that, "it's not the government's role or anybody else's role to make that decision," when it comes to abortion, despite the fact that he claims to be personally opposed to abortion.  That is, He Cain says, "My position is that I'm 100% pro-life. Period," and yet, when asked about whether a woman should be allowed to terminate a pregnancy then his "Period" turns into an ellipsis (i.e. "...")  and he says, "That's her choice. That is not government's choice."

What's this?  Pro-choice and Pro-life at the same time?  But we've always been told that these positions are completely irreconcilable.  Actually Cain is not the first person to suggest that you can be personally opposed to abortion, but not believe that the government should dictate this to others.  A number of Democrats, such as Mario Cuomo, have made similar arguments.

Of course Cain is the only "small government" Republican out there today who thinks that it's not the governments role to regulate abortion.  For that reason, every other Republican in the race, from "man-on-dog" Santorum, to Perry and Romney is jumping all over Cain about his apparent double standard.

Furthermore, it's not clear that Cain knows what side of his mouth he is talking out of at a given time, because in the same interview he also stated, "No, abortion should not be legal." But I thought it wasn't government's role and how would it be made illegal without the government? Apparently here he is trying to weasel words and suggest that there "should" be a law, hypothetically, but that, in the actual world we live in, government's role is not to dictate that.  That's the only way I can begin to make sense of his otherwise incoherent set of statements.

Consider the example of freedom of speech.  A religious person might claim that blasphemy is "wrong" and that it "should be illegal" but that our current, Constitutional form of government guarantees freedom of speech and freedom of religion, so it is not the government's role to make these kinds of laws and/or choices for people.

Unfortunately for Mr. Cain, Republicans "don't do nuance".  That's why simple-minded things like the 999 plan appealed to  them so much.  To now give them a complicated word game about how you're pro-life, but also pro-choice, and that you think that it "should" be illegal in principle in a perfect world, but that, in the present, imperfect world, government can't actually do it, would be enough to make 99% of Republicans heads explode.

However, that might be exactly what Cain wants as the Antichrist.  With most Republicans neutralized it will be relatively easy for him to beat up on the hippie peacenik liberals and wishy-washy  "independents" who are left.

Pig-To-Human Transplantation. Do Religious Extremists Think It's An Abomination?

Scientists at the University of Pittsburgh say that extreme progress has been made in animal-to-human transplantation (xenotransplantation) in the last decade and that we may be on the verge of being able to transplant genetically modified pig organs and tissues into human beings.   The reason we would want to do this would be to alleviate the extreme shortages of donor organs, ranging from corneas all the way up to things like hearts, and livers.  Using special genetic techniques, pigs can be crossbred with human genes, so that their organs would resist attacks by the human immune system.  Hearts from pigs, for examples, have already been transplanted into non-human primate test subjects and have survived for eight months.  Therefore, human trials of these organs may not be far off.

Furthermore, other pig tissues, such as pancreatic cells, are showing even more promise.  Islet cells from pigs have been used to successfully keep a diabetic monkey alive for one year without the use of conventional medication.  Other pig tissues, such as neuronal cells and blood vessels, for example, also show extreme promise for treating diseases such as Parkinsons and Cardiovascular disease respectively.

Unfortunately, many religious extremists and culture warriors of the far-right deride the notion of "Playing God" by monkeying around with human genes.  Some people may remember as far back as 2006, when ex- president George W. Bush spoke about the need to ban "human-animal hybrids" in his State of the Union address.  Far right-wingnuts like Senator Samuel Brownback, who is also an embryonic and stem cell research opponent, introduced failed legislation to do that at the federal level in 2009.  However, since then various state legislatures, including Arizona and Ohio have passed laws banning this research in their backwards, small-minded states.

The question that I want to take up is the biblical correctness, in particular, of using swine derived materials in the human body.  For example, both Jews and Muslims consider the pig to be a ritually unclean animal and their religious laws forbid them from consuming foods containing pork.  Therefore, presumably, observant individuals from these faiths would rather die that receive life-sustaining transplants from an animal that would permanently make them unclean.

However, it is not entirely clear that extremist Christians would fare much better. Brownback, for example, is a Christian, and is still opposed to this kind of research, in general, so it is not clear that someone of his persuasion could accept transplants from this source.  Furthermore, Christians often claim to follow Biblical Law, or Torah, including many parts of the Old Testament.

There are a number of items in Old Testament law which would be at odds with this kind of transplantation.  Leviticus 7:27, for example, forbids even consuming animal blood, much less having an animal organ inside one's body as a blood vessel or as a blood pump.  Bible literalists claim to believe that every word of the Bible is literally true and Leviticus 3:17 says that its laws are "forever throughout the generations", so it's not clear that Bible-believing Christians can get around this with the same facility by which they deny the need for dietary laws.  Modern Christians claim that they are under a "New Covenant" and therefore not subject to some of these Old Covenant laws.  However, when asked why homosexuality is wrong, for example, they cite Old Testament laws from the very same books of Leviticus and Deuteronomy that they say "no longer apply".

Some Christians rely on verses like Matthew 15:17-18 where Jesus says, "Don't you see that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and then out of the body? 18 But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these defile them."  However, a transplanted organ would not pass through the body and out of it.  One would be permanently part pig.

Jesus says that things that come from the heart make you defiled or unclean, so one wonders about the effect of having a pig's heart instead of one's original, human heart.  Naturally, these same people will probably insist that Jesus is speaking "metaphorically" about the heart and not literally.  However, that would mean that we can't take the Bible "LITERALLY", as many fundamentalists insist that they to do.  Either that, or they will have to become like Jehovah's Witnesses and refuse these medical procedures in order to keep the letter of the law as stated not only by the Old Testament, but by Jesus himself.

NostraDumbASS Harold Camping Fails To Predict Apocalypse a 3rd time

The third time was not a charm for Harold Camping, dubbed the NostraDumbA$$ False Prophet of 2011, who had predicted that the world would end today, after having notably failed to predict the Christian Rapture back on May 21st, 2011.  He had also previously predicted the world would end on September 7th, 1994.  However, NostraDumbA$$ may be laughing all the way to the bank, having raised $100 million of his follwers money to advertise the failed May 21st apocalypse, and another $80 million in donations between 2004-2009 on behalf of his "Family Radio".  Thus, Mr. Camping has managed to blow through $180 million dollars of his followers money, all based upon laughably bad preaching and predictions that seem to have no grounding in reality.  What do you want to bet that this charlatan will try for a fourth or a fifth time.  After all, the man is 90 years old.  What does he have to lose besides other people's money?

Sorry NostraDumbAss, The World Won't End October 21st, 2011

You may recall that the NostraDumbAss False Prophet of 2011, Harold Camping, proved that he was totally full of cRapture, when he predicted that the long-awaited Christian Rapture, would occur on May 21st, 2011.  Of course that date came and went, so NostraDumbAss did a  Bible Backstroke, and claimed that the world ended in a "spiritual sense" back in May, but that it would end in a physical sense in October 21st of this year.  Interestingly, this remarkably bad prophet was able to do a backstroke, but was unable to predict his own real stroke a month later.  And this is not the first time that Harold Camping has wrongly predicted the end of the world.
Given his total record of failure, and the 0% success rate of apocalypse predicters, in general, there is excellent reason to believe that he will continue to have a 0% success rate tomorrow, on October 21st, the new and improved date that he predicted the world would actually end. I would advise that you don't sell your house or spend your life savings this time like the NostraDipSh1ts who gave Harold Camping and his Family Radio $100 million to advertise the end of the world back in May.  God knows that is the safest bet you'll find anywhere in the universe tomorrow.

Gadhafi Killed Rebels Say. Another Extremist Exterminated

Libyan psychopath Moammar Gadhafi, the sponsor of the Pan Am 103 Lockerbie Bombing, as well as numerous other terrorist activities, has reportedly been shot and killed in his home town of Sirte, according to rebel fighters. Gadhafi was known for his ridiculous dress, bizarre behaviors, superstitious phobias, and other foibles.  He seemed to have a particular fondness for blonde, voluptuous Ukranian nurses and female body guards, for example, but those were perhaps the only normal things about him.

He had held dictatorial power over the Libyan nation for 42 years, since the former Colonel seized power in a coup in 1969.  He used various titiles, such as "Brother Leader" and "Guide to the Revolution".  However, he was most remembers as a repressive religious lunatic, naming one of his sons Saif al Islam, or "the Sword of Islam".  The Libyan people and the world in general are much improved by his untimely, but long over due demise.

McCain Sez Obama's Bus Is Ugly

John McCain, not to be confused with Herman 666 Cain, told media that Obama has an "ugly" tour bus.  Obama was quoted as replying to McCain, "Yeah, well you have ugly FACE, biatch!" and followed it up by "That's why I effed you like a $5 hoe in the last election."  No, actually Obama didn't say that, because that would have proven that he still had at least one ball between his legs.  However, perhaps if Obama would fire all his political advisors and hire someone who knows what the eff he is doing, like yours truly, then he will end up spanking Herman "antichrist" Cain just as badly as he spanked John McCain and that real $5 hoe, Sarah P.

Herman 666 Cain Sez "Joke" about Electric Fence Not A Joke After All

Herman Cain said he was just "joking" about an electric fence on the border to keep out Mexicans.  However, within 24 hours he has FLIP FLOPPED and now says he thinks it's a pretty darn good idea.  Later when questioned about what he was going to have for breakfast he said he would have waffles, and then changed his mind to flap jacks with eggs flipped over and over and over again.  According to the candidate for FLOPPER-in CHIEF he said, "It WAS a joke to the extent in the context of the views of that speech, but in terms of what we need to do, I fully intend to do so."  Of course, this is par for the couse for Cain who had announced that he was going to drop out of the presidential campaign in order to do a book tour just  before his numbers started to go up in the polls.  Now he figures he can make more money by shaking down GOP suckers for campaign contributions than he ever could by pimping some lame, inarticulately written book, which will end up being recycled for toilet paper in a years time anyway, if it's even any good for that.

AP Says Cain's 999 Plan would raise taxes on poor by 950%

According to a new AP report, people making $10,000 to $20,000 per year would see their taxes go up 950% under Herman Cain's Satanic 999 Plan.  People in middle incomes between $40000 and $75000 per year would see their tax bills increase by over $4000 per year.  In all, 84% of current tax payers would see an increase in their taxes.  However, guess which group would benefit.  Yep, you guessed it, the ultra wealthy.  They would pay far less in taxes than they do today.  "Well Surprise, Surprise!", as a person with the biblical name Gomer used to say.  That's because Cain's Welfare for the Rich plan makes sure to exempt investment income from being taxed at all.  You can't get more anti-Christian than increasing the tax burden by 950% on the poor, while lowering them for the rich.  But what do you expect from Antichrist Herman Cain.

Herman 999 Cain Moronically Claims Liberal Court Killed Jesus

Herman Cain's 999 Plan really reads 666 because CAIN has his head up his A$$ and that's what it looks like to him.  More proof of this is his utterly moronic and blasphemous revisionism of history as when he wrote in Redstate.com that a " liberal court found [Jesus] guilty of false offences [sic] and sentenced Him to death".  Apparently, this certifiable retard, Herman Cain, has forgotten that LIBERALS OPPOSE CAPITAL PUNISHMENT.  Conservatives SUPPORT CAPITAL PUNISHMENT.  So a LIBERAL COURT would not IMPOSE THE DEATH PENALTY.  A CONSERVATIVE court would SENTENCE JESUS TO CRUCIFIXION for blasphemy.  Liberals would have considered CRUCIFIXION as CRUEL AND/OR UNUSUAL PUNISHMENT and they support freedom of speech and freedom of religion, so they would not have considered blasphemy even against the law.  A Liberal court would have had Jesus out on parole in five minutes.

Cain then continued to demolish his ridiculous case by noting that Jesus, "was not read any Miranda Rights".  A liberal court would have THROWN OUT THE CHARGES.  A conservative court would not care if Jesus was beaten and tortured.  Cain then notes that Jesus "didn’t have a lawyer".  Again, this would have been a violation of Miranda and would have been GROUNDS FOR ACQUITTAL in a LIBERAL COURT.  In a conservative court they would have said, if you're "not rich, blame yourself" for not being able to afford a laywer.  In fact, that's also a direct quote from a total dumbf**k conservative named HERMAN CAIN.  A liberal court would have appointed him a public defender.

Cain's article mercilessly makes a fool of himself on every level, and is extremely blasphemous.  He claims, for example, that Jesus "was unemployed".  However, in reality Jesus was working hard every day as a preacher and a healer of the sick.  That is not being "unemployed".  He claims that Jesus helped the poor "without one government program", but actually Jesus was a member of the BIGGEST GOVERNMENT IN THE UNIVERSE called the KINGDOM OF GOD.  How is a KINGDOM not a government?  In fact, He was the head of that government and used His influence to get His Father to multiply fish and loaves and to give people free government health care without having to pay for it, like CONSERVATIVES DEMAND.

Jesus spoke very disapprovingly of the rich, saying, "it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God" (Mt 19:24).  Cain says that poor people are just lazy and jealous.  Since when did Jesus teach that you should never help poor people because they are just lazy and jealous.

Cain thinks Jesus was a "perfect conservative".  However, I don't recall Jesus preaching that you should carry firearms and retaliate instantly if anyone offended you.  In fact, Jesus was very much for "sword control".  For example, when he was being arrested Simon Peter drew a sword and cut off the ear of the servant of the High Priest.  Did Jesus say, "Yeehaw, boy, get 'er done! Go kill all those mofos trying to arrest me!"  No, not exactly.  Not even close.  That's what a conservative like Cain would have said.  Instead he bitterly rebuked Simon Peter saying "Put your sword back in its place", and that "all who draw the sword will die by the sword".  He then healed the ear of the servant of the High Priest.  Contrary to popular belief and revisionism Jesus was not a fan of violence or armed rebellion.  He taught pacifism and loving your enemy.  That's what those peacenik, pinko, liberals believe in.  Sorry Cain, but you are a false prophet preaching a false christ as Mk 13:21 warned about.  This is yet more evidence that HERMAN CAIN IS THE ANTICHRIST.