Sunday, August 26, 2012

Romney declares defeat on trying to blame obama for economy

It's pretty hilarious, but Mitt Romney has spent months, and tens of millions of dollars trying to sell the lie that all woes in the present economy are the fault of Barrack Obama.  Unfortunately, he still trails in the polls, indicating that voter's just aren't buying his message.  They don't believe it's all Obama's fault, because at least Obama has tried to do something, whereas the Republican answer, if you can even call it that, is to do nothing and/or obstruct everything.  Doing nothing and blocking any meaningful progress on anything for the past four years has arguably created more economic devastation than any specific program Mr. Obama could possibly implement, no matter how poorly conceived such a program might be.
In any event, apparently Team Romney has offically called it quits on this strategy of trying to hammer on the economy, since it is has proven to be such a non-starter for their campaign.  Of course, in classic Romney fashion, after admitting that this strategy is "not sufficient to propel Mr. Romney to victory", they  say that they will still talk about it, but that it just won't be their primary focus.  In other words, they really don't know what the eff they will do, but one see their move toward fringe birtherism and other kooky culture war issues as  a sign of things to come.  It also telegraphs  their utter desperation to generate any kind of message that people can take seriously.

If you vote romney what does that even mean

It's clear to everyone, including most Republicans, that Romney changes his position every five minutes.  It doesn't matter if it's something like a ban on abortions for women who are raped, which is in the 2012 republican platform, and was even in legislation co-sponsored by his running mate, Paul Ryan.   It doesn't matter to him that the Mormon church and the Catholic church are both opposed to abortion under pretty much any circumstance.  Romney just declares that it's totally fine with him.  In fact, when he ran against Ted Kennedy, Romney said that he was "pro-choice', but then he lost  and ran for governor of Massachuttes and decided that he was not pro-choice any more, even though he said that his mother had convinced him to be pro-choice in the first place.
The point is  that there is nothing about Mitt Romney that isn't up for compromise.  If he tthought that dying his hair green and sporting a fauxhawk would get him one extra vote, you would see him doing that tomorrow.  So my question is what would a supporter of Mitt Romney expect to be getting when they vote for him?    The moment that Romney encounters flack on pretty much  any position he compromises it.  This is often something that "liberals" are accused of, but it seems pretty clear that, at least Obama has waffled less.  He promised to pass legislation on health care and he did it.  But, given how Mitt changes his mind on everything, how can people take any of his promises seriously?

Now, I know that most people who will end up voting for Mitt are simply Obama haters.  They don't like Mitt, but they are just casting a  hater ballot for "anybody but Obama".  Still, they may want to to think about that strategy, because, as I have argued in previous posts, Romnney and/or Ryan could very  well be the Antichrist foretold in the Book of Revelation.  I wonder how they will defend themselves from God's judgment when they have to explain why they voted for the Antichrist, simply because they are fearful haters and racist crackpots that don't like black people.

Saturday, August 25, 2012

muslim neil armstrong murdered by obama

No, Neil Armstrong was not murdered by Obama, nor was Armstrong a Muslim, but given all the ridiculous stories making the rounds in a matter of minutes these days, how long will it take someone to invent such a conspiracy.  After all,  in real life a variety of myths were invented about the somewhat reclusive and media shy Neil Armstrong.  The most popular myth, mainly popularized in the Arab world, was tht Neil Armstrong converted to Islam because he hear the azaan (muslim call to prayer) when he was walking on the Moon.  Other variants say that he converted because he pointed a geiger counter toward Mecca, when he was in space, and discovered strong "radioactivity" coming from it.  Still other versions say that Armstrong converted to Islam because, as he was flying around the Moon, he noticed a large crack in it that corresponds to a Koranic story about Mohammed causing the Moon to split in two.  The reality, of course, was that Armstrong never converted.  However, because he shunned the media limelight it was easy to make up all manner of stories about him.

Now, of course, back to the Obama conspiracists, perhaps they will say that Obama had Armstrong killed off because Obama used to attend the same mosque as Armstrong.  Perhaps he had pictures of the President down on his hands and knees "biting the carpet" as some call it wwhen Muslims pray.

Friday, August 24, 2012

breivik not insane just ultra-rightwing narcissist

Mass-murdering, far-rightwing, Christian militiant Anders Breivik was ruled to be sane, but just narcissistic and overly-theatrical by a court in Norway, who sentenced him to life in prison for his shooting rampage.  In other words, he is just an ordinary Republican ideologue, like Mitt Romney, or Paul Ryan, here in the US.

Both of these individuals are extreme narcissists, and prone to theatrical bombast, themselves. . It's true that they are too chicken$hit to shoot of anything but their big mouths, but, of course, they would be more than happy to let their minions do the dirty work for them.  Mitt would be more than happy to order the military to  do his killing for him, in the unlikely event that he were to become Command-in-Chief, however.  

Yes, at least Bat$hit Breivik had the courage of his convictions, whereas so-called leaders like Mitt Romney cave-in and flip flop on literally everything, as the latest Todd Akin event nicely illustrated.  Romney immediately declared, contrary to the Republican National Platform and his own running mate's position, as well as the official positions of the Mormon and Catholic church, that abortions were A-OK with HIM as long as it was a ... you know..."legitimate rape".  Actually Romney doesn't care how many kids have to die as long as his maniacal ambition of becoming president will be realized by it.  

Ryan, likewise, had actually co-sponsored legislation with Akin to outlaw abortions in cases of rape equally folded like a cheap suit, saying that "sure" he personally believed women who are raped should be prohibited from getting abortions, as the Catholic church, but that he is Mitt Romney's little b1tch now, so he is happy to say, do, and suck whatever Romney tells him to.  This reminds one of the 13th Rule of Ignatius Loyola who advised that, "we ought always to hold that the white which I see, is black, if the Hierarchical Church so decides it".  Only, in this case, it sounds like Ryan now believes that Romney has more authority over him than the Pope does.  Therefore, if Romney ordered Ryan to start thinking that having black or red skin is a curse from God, which is still official Mormon teaching, then Ryan would start professing this new position, and beating on his Book of Mormon to prove it.

Monday, August 20, 2012

Why Mitt Can't Sell The Bad Economy

Mitt Romney keeps stammering around in an exasperated daze telling anyone who will listen, "This election was SUPPOSED to be about the economy".  Indeed, his wealthy backers probably used that to sell the idea of running TO HIM.  It was supposed to be a cakewalk.  Just babble about how bad the economy is and hello 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.
Of course, it hasn't worked that way, but Mitt still keeps repeating the messaging, assuming that people just must not have heard him say it enough times.  The reality is that people have heard the message, but just aren't buying it.  Here are some of the reasons that, even if the economy sucks, it is still not good enough to get Mitt elected.
Firstly there is the way too fricken obvious factor.  "The economy sucks."  No $hit $herlock.  Thanks for telling us.  There is nobody in this country who needs to be told that.  But even if people agree that sucks, they don't agree on why.  Mitt wants to sell the notion that (1) the economy sucks and (2) Obama is the president, so it MUST be his fault.  But people don't buy the second claim.  They gave George W. Bush slack on his own poor economic record and re-elected him.  Of course then he really cratered the already dismal economy, but that's a different story.
For a variety of reasons, most people don't think that the bad economy is Obama's doing.  Perhaps the biggest reason is because they see evidence of Obama trying something.  Of course, republicans have vehemently and instantaneously criticized anything and everything Obama has done, but that doesn't appear to matter, because regardless of whether his actions have been good or bad, at least people see him trying something and the fact that he is criticized for it just draws attention to this fact that he must be doing something.  Fox news and the Tea Party may not like the Stimulus or the GM Bailout, or the Bank bailout, but in the process to crying about all these things they have shown people that Obama is making an effort.
I think Obamacare works for a similar reason.  Most people are unsure or even critical of the program, which has yet to really get going in earnest anyway.  But, at least the average working job will look at it and say, "no matter what, I'm covered, even if I lose my job".  The average person isn't a tax accountant who is going to sit around quibbling about deficits and all manner of other contrived nonsense.  Believe me, Democrats tried to sell fiscal austerity too, for decades under Carter, Mondale, Dukakis, etc.  It didn't resonate with the voters.  When the alternative is having no health coverage you're not going to worry about whether some program with "add to the deficit".  You just want to see a doctor.
Yet poor Mitt keeps playing this losing hand like it was the ace up his sleeve.  Even the media has picked up on this because, every time something else happens they say, "Mitt was all set to hammer on 'the Economy' but then happened".  Actually, it would be better if Mitt talked about than the economy at this point, but don't expect him to be savvy enough to realize that.  He says Obama is trying to change the subject, but actually he should let Obama do that, because his current message just isn't selling, and his only chance is to start talking about something else.    

666 Anti-Christ Ryan Co-sponsored Akin Rape Law

Mitt Romney quickly attempted to disavow the despicable comments of Congressman Akin who believes that abortion should not be allowed even in cases of rape.  However, the problem is that that his running mate, 666 Antichrist Paul Ryan is the co-sponsor of Akin's bill that would prohibit women from getting abortions, even the the case of rape.  Now there is all this pressure to get Akin to quit.  But where is the pressure to ask Antichrist Paul Ryan to quit, considering that he is a 666 shaped cookie cutter copy of Todd Akin.

Of course, on one level, it makes sense that the Antichrist would be anti-abortion, even though it's not what the naive would expect on first blush.  The Antichrist wants as many babies to be born as possible so that he can corrupt them.  How would we expect the Antichrist or his demonic minions to be born except through acts of rape and violence.  Now they want the state to force these raped women to carry their spawn to full term.  Of course, they use the language of self-righteousness, claiming to be holier than thou in their opposition to abortion.  However, the reality is that they only oppose it because they want to have larger armies of darkness for the final battle.  Many of the world's worst dictators, such as Hitler and Nicolae Ceausescu were opposed to abortion because they were extreme militarists and wanted to have plenty of cannon fodder to send off to die on the battlefields for them.  It is no less true in this case.

Still it is the height of hypocrisy for Mitt Romney to disavow the very position that his Antichrist Vice Presidential running mate advocated until five minutes ago.  It's also not believable.  It is a sign that certain people, like Romney will say anything and promise anything, no matter how insincere in order to get elected.

Romney has flip flopped so many times on the issue of choice that the late Ted Kennedy said of Romney, "I'm pro-choice.  My opponent is multiple-choice".

Friday, August 17, 2012

AntiChrist Paul Ryan Shirtless Photo Proves He's Lying about Physique

A shirtless photo of Paul Ryan taking a little swim with his wife a few years ago in Oklahoma proves that Ryan's physique is hardly Olympic class, contrary to the propaganda.  See for yourself, below.  Of course, the Romney campaign is spinning this photo by saying that this is "before" he started working out with P90X. However, Ryan has claimed that he was "always been kind of a workout guy", and presumably *always* would include six years ago.  Indeed, P90X is just one particular gimmick workout routine, but frankly, I would expect someone who claimed to be a "professional physical trainer" to look more impressive.  Granted, he doesn't look fat, but he certainly is not in the 6% body fat ballpark in that photo, as he now claims to be. His arms don't look particularly massive or even ripped, and his chest, aside from being scruffy, doesn't look that imposing either.  To be honest, he doesn't look that unusual in terms of the fitness level you would find at almost any random person you selected at your local gym.  He's perhaps a bit above average, for the general population, but only because he doesn't follow Sarah Palin's advice and eating a bunch of sugary cookies.  Instead he seems to be following Michelle Obama's advice about getting active and spending more time outdoors.
ht paul ryan cc 120817 version2 wblog Paul Ryans Shirtless Photos Emerge photo

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

666 Antichrist Paul Ryan Exposed. Evidence Here.

So, the following may all just be coincidence, OR it may just be the case that Paul Ryan IS the Antichrist.  To begin with, many have compared his pallor to that of a vampire.  Similar to the Dracula movies, he has that V-shaped notch of hair in the middle of his forehead, inspiring many people to nickname him "Eddie Munster".  Others have noted that his creepy appearance reminds them of "Damien" from the Omen movies.

So what you may be thinking.  I'll tell you what.  Guess what year he was elected to Congress?  1999.  Notice the 999, which is variant of 666.  And remember how he reminds people of Damien.  Guess what his middle name is.  Hint: It starts with a D.

OK, that's kind of creepy.  What else you got?  He "found" his father dead in bed when he was 16 years old.  That is also similar to the Omen movies where everyone around Damien ends up dead.  His father died of a heart attack, probably when he realized that his son was the Anti-christ.  As it turns out, Ryan's grandfather also died of a heart attack.

Then there is the fact that he loves Ayn Rand.  He has been quoted as saying of her, "The reason I got involved in public service, by and large, if I had to credit one thinker, one person, it would be Ayn Rand".  Now get this, in 2003 he gave all his staff copies of Ayn Rand's _Atlas Shrugged_ as CHRISTMAS presents.  What an ANTICHRISTIAN thing to do on the most important Christian holiday of the year?  Who does that?  Probably the Antichrist would.  You decide.

Antichrist Paul Ryan is AntiChristian in his values

The Antichrist is the antithesis of Jesus Christ, and there could not be people who are more anti-christian than those who worship at the clay feet of false prophets like Ayn Rand, the apostle of selfishness.  Of course Paul Ryan (aka Damien from the Omen movies) claims to be a Christian outwardly.  He claims that is is a staunch Catholic.  However, the US Conference of Catholic Bishops disagrees that he practices the Catholicism that he pretends to preach.  They noted that Ryan's proposed budget would "hurt hungry children, poor families, low income workers and other vulnerable people", and they therefore conclude that Ryan's proposals "fails to meet these moral criteria".  Well, surprise, surprise.  Of course they don't meet moral criteria, because morality is just a convenient tool for sociopaths like Ryan, who use it manipulate others, but ultimately are just mouthing platitudes so that they can do as they please when nobody is looking. Unfortunately for Paul (Eddie Munster) Ryan, we are looking, and we can see that 666 on your forehead, covered by that little V-shaped divot of hair that you conveniently use to try to hide it.

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Calling BS on Ryan's Fitness Claims

The news media seems to be unaware that people exaggerate about things like weight or how much they they work out or can bench press.  Take Paul (Eddie Munster) Ryan, who claims that to only have 6% body fat and says he weighs 163 lbs, despite being 6'2".  Why this self-aggrandizing braggadocio has circulated in the first place, as though it is relevant to his qualifications to be the Republican candidate for the Vice Presidency of the US, is a mystery in itself.  However, since it is clear that the Romney campaign is putting out such stuff, as opposed to substantive position points, I say *prove it*.
Let's put a scale up on the stage and see if Ryan is Lyin about this too.  See, lots of people lie about their weight.  Lots of guys also lie about how much they can bench.  As a guy who is 5'11" about about 165 (of course, I could be lying), I am naturally a bit suspicious that someone three inches taller and older than me weighs less.  Sure it's possible, but I'm not in bad shape myself.  Still, I have friends who are 6'2" and they don't weight 163 lbs -- it's more like 180-185.  I guess Ryan wants us to believe that he should have been in the Olympics or something.  Maybe if LYING was an olympic sport then he could have won another GOLD for team USA.

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Antichrist Paul Ryan Like Damien from Omen Movies

I joke that Paul (Eddie Munster) Ryan is like the kid from the Adams Family.  Really, though, he reminds me of another kid in the movies.  If you've seen the Omen movies then you remember Damien.  Yes, Ryan could very well be the all-grown up Damien style Anti-Christ.  You would expect him to be very slick and covered in false piety.  What better disguise than to cast himself a "family values" Republican and a "Catholic", when he is really a "screw everybody but me" atheistic Randroid?  If you shave that ridiculous mop he's got on his head you're sure to find triple sixes.  Cue the creepy music, fundy nutjobs.

Why is Paul Ryan's Hair So Neat if Vampires Have No Reflection

It's been a mystery that comedian philosophers have pondered for some time.  Now that the first vampire-American has been chosen as a vice-presidential candidate, however, we must revisit the issue.  Of course I am talking about Eddie Munster (aka Paul Ryan), who has been recently pulled from his coffin during daylight hours, and made to be Mitt's running mate.

But, back to the question of vampires and their hair, I suppose there are a few possible solutions.  Perhaps they have a team of ghoul hairstylists comb and coif their fancy hairdos.  Maybe they comb it without the aid of a mirror, but how would they handle flyaway hairs?  Do they employ a team of bats to swoop down and put errant hairs back into place.  Perhaps Ryan can finally reveal the answers to all these nagging questions.

I've Picked Better Things From My Nose than Ryan

I've picked better things from my nose than Romney picked with Paul (Eddie Munster) Ryan. Actually, maybe Romney outsourced the picking of Ryan to his Bain affiliates in Transylvania.  That's right, you didn't build that either, Mitt.  The only thing Romney's ever built is a tax shelter anyway.  Actually, he outsourced those too when he was on the board at Marriott.  

Romney Outsourced VP pick to Transylvania

It's just a theory, mind you, but it appears that Mitt Romney must have outsourcde his decision on VP picks to Transylvania.  Why else would he end up with creepy, vampire-looking Eddie Munster look-alike as his running mate?  BTW, I've noted it before, but aren't MITT and PAUL the *cutest* GAY couple since Brokeback Mountain?  Too bad they are both opposed to gay marriage, because it looks like they want to pound each other in the bottom-line all night long.  Maybe if Transylvania approves gay marriage then they can both go there when they lose the election.  I guess they could still have a "happy ending" after all.  

Romney and Ryan Are Cutest GAY Couple

Seeing Romney and Eddie Munster....I mean Paul Ryan with their arms around each other, and their faces just inches apart, I can't help but thinking what a cute GAY couple they make.  It sure is too bad that they both oppose GAY marriage, because it means that their torrid, brokeback mountain love affair will have to be forever secret.  My only question is which one the "wife" in the relationship.  My money is on Mitt being the "bottom b1tch".  He looks like he's totally into that sort of thing.  OTOH, I guess they could trade off.  They just look like they want to pound each other's butts all night long.  And if Ryan has never been in a gay porno then it must be someone who looks and acts like him.

Mormon Boy Mitt Picks Catholic Eddie Munster Ryan

Apparently it has not dawned on Romney that people care about the religious affiliation of the candidates.  It is true that a Catholic has been elected president, ONCE, and only ONCE.  Evangelical nutjobs tend not to be big fans of Catholics, even though Catholicism has made a valiant effort to act a lot more crazy than normal in the past few decades.  
Romney already had RELIGION PROBLEMS as a Mormon.  Fundy whackadoodles were holding their noses and trying to make the best of voting for him anyway.  Now he hits them with this Eddie Munster-looking Catholic car-bomb, known as Paul Ryan.  In fairness, Romney didn't have a lot to choose from anyway.  I suspect that many of the other candidates, such as Portman, or Pawlenty, or Jindal were starting to get gun-shy about hitching themselves to Romney's clown wagon.   
Also, one wonders why he chose to do outside of prime time.  Is his political team really this bad at PR?  Why bury your biggest campaign decision.  Friday by noon would have generated astronomically more coverage and you could still make the Sunday talk shows.  If you do it on Saturday though, it would take some fancy footwork to get you on the Sunday morning circuit, which presumably is already booked.    

Paul Ryan Happy As Wet Rodent on Titanic

I the only one who notices that Paul (Eddie Munster) Ryan looks about as happy as a wet rodent on the deck of Titanic .  I guess nobody else wanted to be on Romney's losing ticket.  Anyway, Captain Glum-bum is even bringing me down.  What a truly uninspiring choice.  

After all, we all know that Ryan was a desperation pick, or should we say a pity poke, meant to appease the fat, angry girlfriend know as the Tea Party extremists. Of course, like all fat, angry girlfriends, one little poke ain't gonna make 'em happy anyway, especially with the substandard equipment Romney is packing.  Case in point, Romney picks Ryan and then backs away from supporting Ryan's budget. WTF?  He's your VP.  If you die then he becomes President.  Then he would certainly implement the very budget that Romney now says he doesn't want to stand behind.  If you didn't like his budget then why did you pick him.  My theory is that Romney picked him solely based on the hair.  

Now the ticket is basically the Hair Club For Men ticket.  

Romney Taps Eddie Munster As Running Mate

Seriously, Ryan is one freaky looking, Adams Family kind of creepy dude.  Can anyone not look at him and avoid thinking of a grownup version of Eddie Munster or some other Brahm Stoker tale of horror?  And is there some reason that he is always furrowing his brow?  Is it a nervous tick or does he really want wrinkles at 42?  I know that as a half-vampire, he probably is still sensitive to sunlight and walking in the daytime, and all.

As to substance, it appears that all Ryan can bring to Romney are the asinine and endless tirades about all things "big government".  You don't save water when your house is on fire, and you don't all of a sudden re-discover fiscal sanity after the several decade long spending binges of Reagan and the Bushes.  I remember when right-wingers used to proudly argue that "Ronald Reagan spent the Soviet Union into bankruptcy".  In other words, even they used to admit that they ran up the deficit with insane abandon and just didn't give a F*CK.  Now, they try to pretend that they never did that.

After the recession that right-wing deregulation of banks and markets, the only thing that reversed it was government spending, and it is clear now that Obama's stimulus was too small, since it just barely got us out of the recession they created.  Ryan style spending cuts would guarantee the collapse of the American Economy, usher in a second Great Depression, and probably take down the Global Economy with it.

Romney Just Lost Election Picking Ryan as VP Running Mate

Mitt Romney apparently thinks that picking an Ayn Rand quoting lunatic like Paul Ryan as his running mate is going to reinvigorate his stalled out campaign.  I'm sure it will go over great with seniors when they learn how Ryan has sworn to destroy Medicare and Social Security, as well as trim $3.5 trillion from other "worthless" "big government programs" over the next 10 years.  While some right-wing crazies at the _Weekly Standard_ advocated for Ryan, apparently Mitt has never learned that the content of right-wing blogs and magazines are "not intended to be factual statements", as Senator Kyl put it.

Hilariously, however, now that Romney has picked Ryan as his running mate, he is apparently backing away from Ryan's Ludicrous, Economy-crashing, Slash-and-burn budget plan which he laughable called _The Path to Prosperty_.  Of course it IS a path to prosperity for billionaires who want to pay lower taxes, because that is the sole purpose of collapsing the government.  Rich people don't want to pay the bill for government, even though they use government services more than anyone else.  That's right, rich people constantly run to government to get it to defend their property interests.  They are always using the court system, whereas the average person might be in court a few times in their whole lives.  Rich people also rely on government infrastructure to operate their businesses and these businesses would not exist with things like the Interstate Highway system that many right-wing wealth-ocrats opposed in the first place.  Certainly Ayn Rand opposed it, and she is Ryan's hero.

Time will tell whether voters think this is a good pick.  I don't think that even having Ryan on the ticket will make conservatives fall in love with him, and I don't think that Ryan can sell his brand of bat$h1tCRAZY to independent voters.  Ryan will be a new vote loser.  It probably cost him the election.  Then again, he was on a trajectory of failure even without this newest albatross.

America's Dumbest Jihadist Gets Life Sentence

This week on America's Dumbest Jihadist, we look at the case of Naser Abdo, who yesterday earned himself a well-deserved double life sentence plus 60 years for plotting attacks against soldiers at Fort Hood.  We had already considered Mr. Abdo some while back when we compared him to an Anders Brevik Wannabe of the Muslim variety.  Abdo apparently drew his inspiration from Nidal Hassan, the psychotic Muslim traitor at Fort Hood, who shot his fellow soldiers at the army base due to his paranoid beliefs that the US military was engaged in a war against Islam.

Fortunately for the US, and probably the world in general, Mr. Abdo was perhaps one of the dumbest Jihadis since the Shoe Bomber, Richard Reid, or the Underwear Bomber, Omar Abdulmutallab.  Interestingly, if all three of these incompetent plotters could be put together in the same supermax prison facility, they might form a comedy troupe, which should be dubbed "The Three Stooges of Jihad".
However, in that troupe, Abdo would clearly be Curly, the dumbest of the dumb.  As but one example, he showed up to court in a strange "mask" on the day of sentencing that appeared to be fashioned from underwear, that covered the lower part of his face.  Perhaps he was going for the bondage look, but that will have to wait until he meets his new prison husband, Bubba.
PHOTO: Naser Jason Abdo, riding in a Waco Police vehicle and wearing a facial mask, is taken from the U.S. Federal Courthouse in Waco, Texas, Aug. 9, 2012.

Now, it is true that, like his dim-witted colleagues, Abdo never actually managed to injure anyone.  He only unsuccessfully plotted to do so, shot off his mouth about his intentions, and downloaded Al Qaeda literature such as _How to Make a Bomb in the Kitchen of Your Mom_.  He also apparently was partial to the child pornography, but given that the founder of Islam "married" a girl who was prepubescent, this isn't much of a surprise either.  In fact, even Osama bin Laden's compound contained a stash of pornography.

In any event, Mr. Abdo should have plenty of time now to wear his underwear on his face, and to get bent over five times a day "praying" to Allah.

Monday, August 6, 2012

Robertson Wrongly Blames "Atheists" for Sihk Temple Massacre

Despite having no facts to back up his claim, the increasingly senile Pat Robertson suggested on the 700 Club today that a mass shooting at a Sikh temple in Oak Creek, Wisconsin occurred because "atheists hate God".  As of yet, no credible news source has claimed to know the religious affiliations of the shooter, Wade Michael Page, though many are reporting that he was a member of far-right wing, neo-nazi and skinhead groups.  Most Neo-nazis are members of radicalized Christian organizations, such as the "Christian Identity" movement, which preaches a violent and militant re-interpretation of Christianity.

Take for example, Anders Breivik, the Swedish mass murderer and white supremacist who killed dozens of his countrymen, while declaring himself a member of the Knights Templar, and expressing his hope that his actions would ignite a new crusade against Muslims in Europe.  Even Pat Robertson couldn't claim that guy was an "atheist", though it seems that there is always a new effort to do so, whenever one of these violent events occurs.  

It is, of course, necessary to note, at this point that Sikhs are NOT Muslims, though mental midgets such as Mr. Page, probably thought they were.  He was reported, for example, to have a "9-11" tattoo on his arm, but nobody has ever even remotely hinted at the possibility that any Sikhs were involved with 9-11.  That's because none were involved.  However, because they wear turbans and look similar to some people in the Middle East, Sikhs are often confused with "muslims" and "arabs", and other categories which likewise have nothing to do with them.
So, of course, it might make sense to blame Mr. Page's appalling ignorance of human geography.  It would also make sense to blame his apparently right-wing xenophobia against people he wrongly thought were associated with 9-11.  It would even make sense to blame Mr. Page's probably insufficiently treated alcohol and other mental problems.  But it would make no sense to blame atheists, since Mr. Page is likely no more of an atheist than Sikh is a follower of Islam.  

Saturday, August 4, 2012

Gabby Douglas and God's Glory Hole Blessings

At this point we are used to athletes universally proclaiming themselves "God's gift" to this sport or that sport and then trying to spin that arrogance into humility by attempting to share the glory with God, or saying maybe the creator of the universe deserves a bit more credit.  Gee, that's quite a concession.

Of course these OCD-for-God athletes conveniently forget that 98% of their fellow athletes are bible beating Christians just like them, but there can only be one first place finisher, so all the rest of those devout Christians apparently are under God's curse.  Indeed, it is hard for athletes to not be superstitious and credit some miraculous force like God, rather than lucky genetics, with their good health and physical prowess.

It is also excusable that a very young person like Gabby, who comes from an underprivileged background would be soaked in religion.  Poor people just  love religion, or so they think, because it's all they've got, and it takes every bit of what they do scrape together in tithes, often times.

Still, some of the claims she is making, albeit probably just lifted from the preachers he hears every Sunday, can't go completely unchallenged.  For example, Gabby claimed "I give all the glory to God."  Well, not exactly.  I think she will keep the $90 Million in endorsement deals that she is expected to be given. God, in the form of his Earthly representatives at various churches will certainly try to skim as much of the top as they can from her, but God is unlikely to see much of it.

She goes on to mouth boilerplate platitudes that she surely heard from some slick and sleazy minister saying, "It's kind of a win-win situation. The glory goes up to him and the blessings fall down on me."  Well first off, one wonders about the "kind of" qualifier.  It's also not clear that "win-win" applies with respect to God, since he is already all-powerful and already has everything.  But my question is about the second part.  She is claiming that she takes absolutely no credit for things she does with HER OWN BODY, but instead says that GOD, not her, really did the somersault.  She then says that by claiming that God, did something that he obviously did not do, that she is blessed with the ability to continue doing somersaults that are really being done by God.  Clear as mud?  Good, because it gets murkier.

The real problem is that plenty of people give constant "glory" to God all the time and they get no "blessings" at all.  In fact, plenty of people pray all the time and they then get terrible diseases, or experience horrific accidents, or a variety of other misfortunes.  Gabby's mercenary, quid-pro-quo attitude toward worshipping at God's "glory hole" and havings "blessings fall down" her throat afterward clearly doesn't match reality very closely.  My advice to Jesus fanatics like Gabby would be that, "I know Jesus says he loves you, but you should still make him wear a condom".

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Reid sez Romney a Gutless Coward and a Tax Cheat

It's really sad seeing candya$$ Mormon-boy Mitt implode these days.  Romney apparently thought he was being quite the "macho" dude, telling Harry Reid to "put up or shut up" on the issue of .... Mitt Romney's unreleased tax returns.

I believe the canonical reply is "Why don't you MAKE me, you little B1TCH!".  After all, Romney has inflicted this wound UPON HIMSELF by not releasing HIS TAXES, and, if he has nothing to hide, all he has to do is MAN UP and slap them tax returns on the table.  You gonna pull them pistols or whistle dixie?  Mitt, of course is a yankee, and has never been in a real fight in his life, so it's not surprising that he's confused.  Mitt apparently has mistake trying to have a pissing contest with a silly slap fight.

So, since Romney has no clue how the maning up process works, I'll enlighten him.  Mitty-boy hid behind his mother's skirt and refused to release his taxes.  Reid effectively said, "You're a nutless mama's-boy for hiding, Mitt....and BTW, your mother's a whore too".  The correct response is NOT, "Oh YEAH!?  You PROVE she's a whore".

See, because Reid's next response is "Or else WHAT, M*otherf*cker?!".  That's how this Sh1t works.  Seriously, what is Mitt going to do about it?  Will he SUE Reid?  If he did then presumably he would have to produce his TAX RETURNS in court to prove his case.  But that's precisely what Mitt lacks the cojones to do in the first place.

The fact is that Mitt CAN'T DO Sh1t and everybody, including Mitt, knows it.  He won't release his taxes, and Reid is under no obligation to stop calling him a coward, or the son of a whore, until he does.

Now I KNOW some of you are just dying to drool like a fool the "innocent until proven guilty" line in reply.  This isn't a court of law, mittHeads.  Mitt's too cowardly for that, for the reason we have already noted -- he would have to produce his taxes.  Because Mitt tried to be macho about it, he is now bound by Man rules to defend his honor.  Reid already slapped Mitt in the face.  Mitt cannot win any extra man points by demanding that Reid do it again, but harder this time.  So, unless Mitt has a picture of Reid screwing a hooker, then Mitt is the one that's screwed here.

Why do old people waste time on crosswords

Ok, this is a pet peeve that has been building for a long time.  As a teacher I am off in the summers and I see tons of retired people sitting around doing crossword puzzles.  Sure, they have time to waste and do whatever, but WHY?  Why, when you are facing death would you want to ridiculously squander your remaining time? You may say, "Maybe they enjoy it", but you're wrong.  Most of them suck at it.  They can't figure out what a nine letter word for "stupid time waster" is.  Hint:  the answer is "crossword".
I have talked to some old people and they say, "I've already accomplished all my goals", so now apparently  they're just effing around until they die.  I call bull$$hit on this excuse too.  You never have to run out of goals.  Even at a late age there are real, significant, important things that could be accomplished.  They don't have to go back to work, but with the same mental effort they put into crossword puzzles, they might be helping to make the world a  better place.
This is really not a criticism of old or retired people.  It is the opposite.  I'm saying that they don't have to give in to the stereotype of being some ancient codger with thick glasses, obsessed with crossword puzzles and "The Price Is Right".  Old people should not give up on life like this.  They need to do a little more raging against the dying of the light.  They need to write their life stories.
Therefore, I will be supporting a law banning crossword puzzles, on pain of revocation of social security benefits.  Of course I joke, but only with half a smile.  The reality is that if you are just going to completely waste your golden years, maybe you don't deserve them.
I guess what I am saying is that I wish there was a polite way of saying to these people, you are still valuable in this world despite the fact that you feel you may have nothing more to contribute.  You could still think great thoughts.  I would be much happier to see them commenting on philosophy or even attempting to write doggerel on some web hangout for seniors.
I realize that these people don't want the stress of a full-time job anymore, but plenty of people retire to a life of leisure and still end up doing productive things afterwards.  One doesn't have to abandon all curiosity in the world and engage in made up activities to waste what light is left.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Self-deport Before Romney Sends Your Job To Mexico

Perhaps Mitt Romney's otherwise laughable call for illegal immigrants to "self-deport" is not really as bad an idea as it sounds, in the increasingly unlikely chance that Romney is elected.  Now hear me out on this people.  You see, Mitt made his fortune by firing American workers and sending their jobs overseas to China, India, and Mexico.  Therefore, it stands to reason that, if Romney is elected, that you will lose your job and it will be sent overseas.  However, if you self-deport now, you will be one step ahead of the game, because you will already be there when Romney creates jobs in Mexico to replace all the ones he is attempting to destroy in this country.  But you will already be there, ready to scoop your exportted  job right back up.

Take, for example, Mitt's insistence that Detroit automakers should not have been bailed out and should have been forced to go broke.  That was because he wanted millions of American auto industry jobs to be lost here so he could profit by sending them to Mexico.  Naturall, those jobs will only pay a tiny fraction of what they pay here.  But hey, the cost of living is far more affordable there, and the women are "muy bonita".  That means "real purdy", gringo, so what you waitin' fur...get packing...Andale.

Oh wait, Mitt is polling about 5% points behind Obama in most of the crucial swing states, as of now, so, fortunately, he is on the fast track to losing the  election.  So it looks like the middle class can keep their jobs for another 4 years, until the billionaires field a better presidential candidate.

Chick-fil-a or Hate-fil-a

If truth in advertising were required of companies then maybe Chick-fil-a should change its name to Hate-fil-a, since they are so hate-filled when it comes to gays and non-christians.  It's apparent that most of their customers are haters too, right out of the "God Hates Fags" mold.  They come for the chicken, but stay for the extra spicy hate-sauce.

Why are these people even selling chicken sandwiches?  Shouldn't they be out picketing a soldier's funeral along with their Westboro Brethren.  At the very least, shouldn't they be giving corporate sponsorship and nice like Nascar style uniforms to the "God hates fags" Westboro Baptist church.

Maybe Mike Huckabee should next declare a Westboro Baptist God Hates Fags Day of Hate.  You can guess who will provide the sandwiches with all the hate money they raked in from hating people for being the way God made them.

Don't Be A Dick-fil-A

It is not surprising that a bunch of Chick-fil-A fundamentalist d1ckheads made it a point to eat there and show what a bunch of tasteless, backward, unhealthy buffoons they are.  I have never eaten there because I have always known that they are run by religious fanatics and therefore have always avoided them.

I also know that some people are trying to sell the "1st amendment defender" meme, where they claim that they will support Chick-fil-A's right to say moronic things, but this is as bogus as it gets. An employee at Chick-fil-A is not free to exercise first amendment rights.  You can bet that they would fire you in a heartbeat for not saying "God, and Jesus, and Mary bless you" every time a customer sneezed.  Does anyone think for a second that they they would hire an employee who was a goth or a wiccan or wore a pentagram?  The CEO claims that all the franchisees are "married to their first wives", so it sounds like, if you get divorced then, on the basis of religion alone, they would kick you to the curb.  They claim that there is no evidence that Chick-fil-A has engaged in discriminatory practices, but that is because, in many places an employee can be fired without cause, basically for any reason.  You can bet that they would never hire gay people, and would certainly invent any convenient reason to get rid of them the moment such information was discovered.

Many naive "defenders of the 1st amendment" never seem to grasp this, but you cannot defend people who would would undermine the very freedoms you are claiming to protect.  If Dick-fil-A Dan Cathy had his way and ran the country as he wished there would would be no freedom of religion.  It would be worship the way Dick-fil-a Dan commands or face deportation, or prison, or burning at the stake for your heresy.

I will always defend the rights of people who respect my rights, but it must be a two-way street or you will end up sabotaging your own freedoms.